Thalia

....while well besotted are the sharers of her now and long still after they remain as drunkened fools,
she carrys on without a care, 
out of sight and out of mind, 
their faces fade within short time, 
in matters of the heart,
this is how she's faired. 
..she's just not that kind of girl,
the kind to delve to deep,
not anymore..
in fact, she wasnt any "kind of girl" she was simply, 
that girl, 
that girl that gave her self to the moment and whomever shared it with her, then took her love when she was done and as quickly as she'd come,
was gone, 
it was safer this way,
for her,
 for them. 
for she felt herself afill with poison,
a so intoxicating one that to drink of her a bit to long and lose oneself is swanning song was not a far stretched notion
in all truth, she wasnt wrong.
this was thalia, and from today, her life and all she knew it to be would change forever....
for worse, or better..

 she pulled the curtain to its side and stuck its end between the half trunked elephant and the hardship filled jewelry box sitting on the windowsill beside her bed, letting the sun shine in, she sat cross legged, eyes shut, chinned up in its glow absorbing this wafting wave of warmth, deep breaths, she had noted recently how shallow her breaths can be when paying them no mind, this was a habit she hoped to correct. there were a few of them, habits to address, as we all have, some more pressing than others, and as far as habits went small breaths far from topped her list. she felt a shuffling beside her as the bed shifted, her peace disturbed, and just in time for gods forbid she look to far within, oh ya, she thought, he's still here. why is he still here? scattered shards of last nights exploits flashed behind her bloodshot eyes, "fuck".
 it was not so much regret she felt... 
perhaps "felt" is too strong a word, thalia seldom really felt, the ketamine and single malts had seen to that, for the most part, on occasion she did have 'feelings", but the contrast overwhelmed her so that shed lop their heads off clean before theyd have a chance to grow,, no, 
she didnt feel regret, more a sense disappointment in her self,  how dare she drop her shield so low and give this random thing its chance to cut between her guards. to glimpse beneath the hardened shell, such careless stance exposing heart has never ended well.. 
feigned affections brought on by a drug fuelled state, yes! she nodded, this is what shed go with, tried tested and true, settled, moving on, so very much to do. 
off she went about her morning rituals leaving the pile of snoring meatsack in the hopes hed wake alone and feeling not a tid of comfort in this strangers bed, hed gather up his clothes and slink away with covered head. 
sometimes she knew she hoped in vain. but still she hoped..