The addicts that make us

I've been on methadone for 7 years now,
so why put me on oramorph,
when the addiction is just the same.
Each and every day my dependancy increases,
It only masks my pain.
the affects on my body i get are not just physically but mentally soul destroying.
is this the medication,
that's meant to be helping,
or is it meant to give me this double beating?
If i was normal,
the doses would kill a man. 
But I'm So used to the Drs  increases,
it's always been the same..

I take It all with my body on constant guard,
not want to let either in and then my to set my body dead,
rigid and hard?
I won't let it beat me,
Even sat here,
bed ridden and useless,
with just chats to share?
i know I'll get through it,
I always do,
just this times harder than I've ever been dealt before.
I've lost the feeling all fro. The waist down,
I thought Drs were meant to help you,
not hinder you when already has doubled or even trebled my excessive pain.
I'm sorry for sharing,
for show I g my weakness again,
but I'm struggling through it,
no pain,
no gain xxxx