The Color Red

The color Red:

For a moment in my dreams
I drew a hand
Winding red ribbons round my wrists
And my heart called back to thoughts of slits beneath
Crimson from within
No dye
And no paint
Called back to pain and despair
Of snipping scissors hidden among hands that claimed nothing more than to want to hold me

But I watched these red ribbons roll 8's and infinity as they slide across my skin
My skin remembered the feeling of their silk and sins
Gentle and caring
Soothing every inch they held within

And I needed that to remind me

To help my eyes remember that I see no knots to bind me

What's the difference between red ribbons and red flags
I ask as sequins and slithering silks coil around me
what does red mean
does it matter whether it's in the mouth of a snake?
Is a red feather boa any different?
what else can red mean

We feel a startling in our chest when that color of firetrucks crests
Rises up
Fluttering over burning bridges and broken beams
Our ears call back to warning words of flags in the wind
Call forward to I told you so's
Call us now to our sins
But not everything that fills us with fear
Is telling us we should not be here

I stand now
In front of an elegant mirror

A mirror that used to be marked and stained by little more than toothpaste and time spent hiding 

the crisp velvet coat I find myself wearing in my reflection reminds me of my silver tongue and golden heart
You remind me that I like the taste of who I should be
Could be
Who I already am
Crimson within
Crimson velvet without
Silk and sequins
Shadows and doubt
Stuck on the thought that
When we fear the color red too much
We end up running from roses

Looking down at the one on my lapel
I wonder

Do my roses wave like flags in the wind?
And what scent might you smell when your face is buried in my chest

When I see the red in me
I see a lover left in a bed of rose stems, hooks and barbs piercing into them
Called vicious for crawling out of it
They see a monster in the red of me
Because they left me a bed of roses
How cruel of me to leave it vacant

To me
They clearly can't see
That just because it's a rose
Doesn't mean it's what roses mean