The day I tried to live...

I awoke like any other day. Hearing 
 syncopated voices inside my head....Heroes and villains alike , playing on my intellect and my heart as if I dont deserve  to live. the sadness of suicide is fading ,and  I'm hoping god knows and forgives . I'm trying very  hard but I'm in contrast to so many That I just want to get on the board so I can be accepted as someone or something Not a piece in some ones game or pawn to make the stagnant do their job ....contemplating  nothingness ....or believe in what they walked away from you will prosper in effigy for i was the dichotomy of joy and positivity thrust deeper like a knife inside a deserved victim , I am the trapezoid that it immensely mediated  to. It's sad when the  only one believing in  your soul is someone  who  never seen what  you  can do .I am a peace to a puzzle in the wrong world  and frame and a piece that never fit in. I'm going back into the void of my humanity...there  I will unravel my mind, destroy my heart and lose my everything I thought I was . i really  dont belong anywhere anymore they are all immortalized I'm walking amidst a garden of statuesque memories in the best of hoping the blood  splatter will sink in the marble so I will  be engrained forevermore . My hurt is ,and was different. my level, my law, is un wavering  as I waft in the air like a discarded flag .