Poem -

The Dead Hamster

The Dead Hamster

My stepdaughter's hamster was killed by a mouse trap.
My wife was so angry at me that she gave me a slap.
My stepdaughter's hamster accidentally got out of his cage.
When he was accidentally killed, my wife became enraged.
My wife poured a gallon of boiling hot water over my head.
She made me pay because her daughter's hamster was dead.
I used mouse traps to get rid of the mice.
When that hamster died, I paid the price.
My stepdaughter was very upset and I hated to see her cry.
When my wife was through, I'm damn lucky that I didn't die.
If somebody tells you that they still love me, that person is a liar.
I was taking a bath and my wife tried to kill me with a hair dryer.
My wife and stepdaughter are still angry, they hate my guts.
My wife left me after my stepdaughter kicked me in the nuts.
When the hamster was killed, I offered to buy another one.
My wife put a hole in my ass with her sawed off shotgun.
I couldn't sit down for weeks and that incident is something I regret.
If you have a stepdaughter, you'd better not accidentally kill her pet.
Because if you do, you will be made to pay the price.
Before using mouse traps, you'd better think twice.
 

Like 1 Pin it 1
Support CosmoFunnel.com

Support CosmoFunnel.com

You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.

Log in to leave a comment.

Comments

author
Tony Taylor

LOL!! LOL!! LOL!! LOL!!...Oh my God!!...I haven't laughed that hard for some time.....the lines just kept getting funnier and funnier......That was SOOO good RANDY!!....Thank you SO much....I think I have been cured of any & all little things....because like they say ~ "Laughter Is The Best Medicine"....you ROCK dear poet brother......PINNED for absolute perfection!!.....LOL!! LOL!!....Love This!!......Your cyber-frriend and admirer!!......T xo  :  )

Reply
author
Randy Johnson

Thank you, Tony. Your kind words are appreciated.

Reply
Poem -

78

Dedicated to Charles F. Johnson (1947-2013) who died on July 13...

78

When Dad died, it was something that wasn't great.
If he hadn't perished, today he would've turned...

Poem -

Goodbye Ace Frehley

Dedicated to Ace Frehley (1951-2025) who died on October 16,...

Goodbye Ace Frehley

Everybody loved his performances but he can't perform anymore.
Ace Frehley has died after having a...

Poem -

The Late Patricia Routledge

Dedicated to Patricia Routledge (1929-2025) who died on October...

The Late Patricia Routledge

When she starred in 'Keeping Up Appearances', she did a great job.
She starred as Hyacinth Bucket...

Latest poems in Comedy

Poem -

Happy sixty fourth orbitz...

Happy sixty fourth orbitz to designate your birth,

which as a little girl, you might remember
mother of ours delivered the most fun on Earth
...

Poem -

Tectonic Upheaval

Tectonic Upheaval

Heavy duty seismic coughing wracks my whole body electric leveling all bonafide structures versus a...

Poem -

PREPARE FOR HUGS GALORE

PREPARE FOR HUGS GALORE

Talk to God...

Try without...

Someone will let you in...

The Hugs can begin......

Advertise on CosmoFunnel.com