Poem -

The Dead Hamster

The Dead Hamster

My stepdaughter's hamster was killed by a mouse trap.
My wife was so angry at me that she gave me a slap.
My stepdaughter's hamster accidentally got out of his cage.
When he was accidentally killed, my wife became enraged.
My wife poured a gallon of boiling hot water over my head.
She made me pay because her daughter's hamster was dead.
I used mouse traps to get rid of the mice.
When that hamster died, I paid the price.
My stepdaughter was very upset and I hated to see her cry.
When my wife was through, I'm damn lucky that I didn't die.
If somebody tells you that they still love me, that person is a liar.
I was taking a bath and my wife tried to kill me with a hair dryer.
My wife and stepdaughter are still angry, they hate my guts.
My wife left me after my stepdaughter kicked me in the nuts.
When the hamster was killed, I offered to buy another one.
My wife put a hole in my ass with her sawed off shotgun.
I couldn't sit down for weeks and that incident is something I regret.
If you have a stepdaughter, you'd better not accidentally kill her pet.
Because if you do, you will be made to pay the price.
Before using mouse traps, you'd better think twice.
 

Like 1 Pin it 1
Support CosmoFunnel.com

Support CosmoFunnel.com

You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.

Log in to leave a comment.

Comments

author
Tony Taylor

LOL!! LOL!! LOL!! LOL!!...Oh my God!!...I haven't laughed that hard for some time.....the lines just kept getting funnier and funnier......That was SOOO good RANDY!!....Thank you SO much....I think I have been cured of any & all little things....because like they say ~ "Laughter Is The Best Medicine"....you ROCK dear poet brother......PINNED for absolute perfection!!.....LOL!! LOL!!....Love This!!......Your cyber-frriend and admirer!!......T xo  :  )

Reply
author
Randy Johnson

Thank you, Tony. Your kind words are appreciated.

Reply
Poem -

The Late Diane Ladd

Dedicated to Diane Ladd (1935-2025) who died on November 3, 2025

The Late Diane Ladd

I hate to say that I have some news that's very sad.
We've lost an actress who was named Diane Ladd...

Poem -

Prunella Perished

Dedicated to Prunella Scales (1932-2025) who died on October 27...

Prunella Perished

She starred in 'Fawlty Towers' and 'Consuming Passions' as well.
She was a very talented actress and...

Poem -

Killer Clown

This is a scary poem I wrote for Halloween

Killer Clown

An evil man decided to become a killer clown after he watched It.
He showed no mercy, murder was a...

Latest poems in Comedy

Poem -

Long interminable hours...

Long interminable hours...

of darkness doth not compute
alternately titled:
The descent of dusk affects grapefruit...

Poem -

Skippack Pharmacy comprised...

Skippack Pharmacy comprised of admirable staff

Able, eager, ready and willing
to "separate the wheat from the chaff,"
reassuring a new or...

Poem -

Yesterday, right after...

Yesterday, right after washing my hair, and applying a blowdryer...

After more than a year passed since I paid $35.00, when yours truly donated close to twelve inches of near...

Advertise on CosmoFunnel.com