Poem -

the desired effect

(Shot one)
I don't know why I'm even bothering with this crap,
I don't feel a thing and the sting in my throat makes it harder and harder to breathe.
You wouldn't approve of this, I know it--
you were always the "only a couple beers" type.
Too bad I never was, and this booze tastes like shit,
but it'll do, I guess.

(Shot five)
Finally getting into the swing of things, this liquor's got nothing on me.
I know you'd tell me to be careful but I'm no quitter.
My stomach feels like fire and I, 
well,
I'm in it to win it now.
Watch out, world--
there's no signs of stopping in sight for this girl!

(Shot ten)
I'm so happy I'm here, this is so fun and I'm having such a great time.
There's no rhyme or reason to this, but this season is the best
and I'm so blessed
to have friends
for whom I share so much love.
I'd do anything for them and I hope
they know that.
Maybe they don't...
Well I'll shoot them a text and tell them exactly
how much
I care about them.

(Shot fifteen)
I remembered you again for the second time tonight
and I can't wipe my eyes
fast enough,
because you aren't here to wipe them for me.
You're not here to tell me 
I've had too much,
you aren't here to pour my booze for me.
You aren't here and I hate that.
I hate this party and I hate knowing you don't even want
to be here.
You probably aren't even thinking about me because there's some new blonde you can toy with,
and I wonder if you'll lie to her too.
If you'll tell her your family has a plane,
or that you work downtown,
or that you've got a shiny
corvette waiting
for you.
I wonder if you'll even ask to see her
the way nobody else does,
the way only a lover could.
I hate that I'm crying over all this, and I just don't wanna
feel empty
anymore.

(Shot twenty)
Who?
I don't remember him at all, sorry