The Dirt

Phase 4-The Dirt
 

I feel myself sinking into a desolate lull 

and wearily grasping for threads of hope

to pull them out of this ugly hole

numerous pits pulsate to the rhythm of my breath

I wince in tryptophobic disgust

nobody will fill the pitting—no, not tonight

I've shrunken and frozen like a cornered mouse

when I look at my full self in this severe light

my love has been eclipsed by humiliation

I'm uncovered—and I'm half buried in dirt

I've suffered this all before

shame magnified by grief

when I have lost

why do I destroy what is still mine?

the night thief of self-love has stolen

so now I'm missing more than just him

I'm missing sections of myself

my love, return

my love, return

I'm lonely for your approval

and I'm parched for your compassion

can't you see I'm transforming?

be patient

accept me when I'm dirty—accept me clean

I'm always worthy, and I'm always loveable

don't you want to come back to me?
Please