forget me not

You know,
I had kinda hoped
this would end differently.
I'd be a liar if I told you
I hadn't wanted to keep the bridge
you'd walked into my life on
in tact.
I wouldn't have burned it
had you changed
after all this time.
I'm still your secret.
Have you not left your shame
behind,
or did you just reinvent it?
I'm far above your embarrassment,
and I have a feeling you know that.
That's what makes it sick.
I'm no threat to your reputation
anymore,
so why the fuck
do you still tell them
I was nothing?

(I wish I knew why it still hurts.)
(Maybe it's the believing you
when you told me
that calling me yours
once upon a time was an honour.)
(I thought you were better.)

You are no longer the only one
ashamed.
Your mark on my history
is jarring,
and as ugly as any wound.
For you,
I will never be enough.
You have made that clear as glass.
In your eyes,
those that I once admired
as only a fool could,
I will never outgrow the shadow
you shrouded me in.
You will never again be
the only one
trying to forget what you once were
to me.