The Girl You Killed

"Fix me" I begged of him as the grip he had on my hand loosened

  "Fix me" I sobbed again as if I were some broken part easily fixed with a hammer and nails

    But that’s not what I was to him

      To him I was a broken piece that couldn’t be fixed at all

        I couldn’t be fixed at all and I needed to be replaced

"I can't" He said in a firm voice as he finally let go of my hand

  "I can't fix you" He said again with tears threatening to fall from his bright blue eyes

    Eyes that were once filled with so much life

      Life that vanished somewhere in all the pain

        The pain that destroyed the both of us

"So this is it then?" I asked while my heart beat out of my chest and into his hands

  "This is it" He said as he squeezed out all the love that was left in my heart

    My heart disintegrated in his hands after he emptied it

      He emptied it faster than he filled it in the months before

        The months before didn’t mean anything anymore

"Don't leave me" I screamed as he walked away and left me on the ground

  "Please, don't" I begged, but he was gone

    Gone with him was every ounce of feeling and love I invested in him

      I invested in him like he would never leave

        He would never leave, I thought

"Get up" I said inside my head as I evaluated the situation I was in

  "Get up" I said out loud to myself as I stood up and dusted myself off

    I dusted myself off and as the dirt left, he left too

      He left too, just like everyone else

        Everyone else left like I never thought he would

"Marlboro Blacks, please" I said to the cashier who asked for my ID

  "Thank you" I blurted out instinctively as she handed me the cigarettes

    The cigarettes he thought would kill me

    The cigarettes I promised him I'd never smoke again

      Smoking again was all I wanted to do

        All I wanted to do was set fire to my insides

"Fuck" I thought as I inhaled a puff and coughed

  "Fuck" I said out loud at the feeling it produced in my body

    My body needed to feel the lightness from the cigarettes

      Cigarettes became my safe place

        My safe place used to be you

        But you killed me

        You killed me more than the cigarettes ever did