The Master Of Small Talk

I am surrounded by experts, knowledge till it hurts,
it's never long before some cleverclogs asserts;
I take it in my stride, 'Did you know that Colombo 
died today?' They accuse me of talking mumbo jumbo.

Someone said: 'That's profound,' don't patronise me,
you nasty bastard, credit me with some dignity;
I recently went to the opening of an art gallery,
a silly fool said that I seemed to be overwhelmed.

After I'd scraped him off the floor, I re-took my wine,
'I can tell you that you're no longer a friend of mine,'
I am equipped and armed for any stupid brickbats,
more than a match for any zig-zag grins from fat cats.

If I'm asked why I deliver chit chat behind my hand,
we just keep it simple so that you can understand.