The maze

Trapped within the walls of my own sanity 
Questioning every single day what’s real and what’s not 
Doubting facts, fiction and reality 
Mind turned off; body turned into basic survival mode 
Feeling rather beast than man  
Like having a soul that's not young, nor old 
But one that simply doesn’t know, where to settle and grow 
 
Facing the shadows hunting my morality 
Chasing my life goals for what seems an eternity 
Destroying my dreams by making bad choices 
And asking nothing but wrongful questions 
Whatever I seem to do, nothing of it makes sense 
Does it mean I’m weak? Does it mean I’ve given up? 
Does it mean I’m stupid? Does it mean I’m out of luck?
Whatever I seem to do, whatever I want or desire most
It's feel like a lifetime it took, yet I ain't got nine lives.

Trying to close the gap that's leading me into insanity
By running away from my fears and hiding my tears
Constantly screaming and yelling for help which nobody hears
Am I a ghost I wonder? What's the time? How much longer?
Panicking as there are either too many doors with only a few that actually open
or there are just none
Every day a new and none of them are alike, no matter how I picture it in my mind
I'll always look like a fool to the outside, while inside I'm nothing but kind
Disoriented a little bit, but still doing fine
Fighting as it is for all of the things I believe I've missed.
Paying for what I believe were my crimes.