the most i've felt alive is when i'm dying

And maybe it's because I'm restless
and the world around me has started to turn bleak
that I imagine the clouds wrapping their hands around my throat
charging me with their lightning as desperately as code blue in the ER
as to try to erase and revive me all at once
the electric currents coursing through me feel like fireflies on an acid trip
the most I've felt alive is when I'm dying