Poem -

THE SPIDER

I sat silent
Still
In that room
My eyes transfixed
By the spider
As it negotiated the grey walls
Onto the grey tiles
Making its solitary journey
Home
Lonely spider
Harsh it was
That room
Strip lighting 
Overheated
Scuffed seats
A door that creaked 
As someone entered
I noticed the shoes
Unwelcome shoes
Black shiny shoes
They stepped 
Ever closer 
To the spider 
And me
And I worried for the spider
Willed the shoes
Don't step on the spider
Please don't hurt the spider
I flinched
And sweated
As I watched the dance
Of the spider and the shoes
Was glad for the spider
When the shoes stood still
The spider continued
​​​​​​On its treacherous journey
To its own small life
In its own small world
Safe
Then a voice spoke
A man's voice
A gentle voice
Compassionate

He uttered words
Shocking words
Torturous words
Impossible words
That no mother
Should ever hear
And my heart broke for her
That mother
And I looked for her
But there was no one there
There was only me
And the man 
With his gentle voice
And his kind face
And his sad eyes
And his black shiny shoes
And the spider, who was screaming.
Marion Price (2019)

 

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Comments

author
Tony Taylor

Hi MARION!!......I found this to be truly compelling prose.....I read it  4 times.....I read it aloud to Cherie..... and we both could still, not quite, understand its true intent... at first we thought perhaps 'She' was "The Spider"..... but then had to rule it out..... and continued to a place where we were stumped..... we were hoping you could fill us in on what this intended as...... It reminds me of a short story called "The Metamorphosis" written by Franz Kafka (I think?) one of those guys anyway!!......so let me know would you...... it was fun pondering!!...... smiles......T xo 🐧❤

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author
Marion Price

Hi my friends, good effort Tony, I would have just moved on 😃...it's about when the mind cannot cope with the sheer horror of a situation and disassociates...in this case the mother who waits for news of her child focuses on the spider. As the doctor explains she cannot comprehend the enormity, projects it all outwards and slips into madness. Hope this clarifies 😊🌹🌹

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author
Tony Taylor

Wow!!... that is intensely well conceived... but most probably no one would ever comprehend/discern a doctor being in the room with this evasive prose... even though the tiled floor and strip lighting might suggest it.... but much easier in retrospect....a fine piece for the author.... much more challenging for the reader!!...... stay groovy dear poet sister!!..... and keep 'em comin'!!........LOVE & ROCKETS!!.....T xo 🐧❤
 

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author
Marion Price

Dear Tony, I have rewritten, rephrased and reworked this several times as I realised you were right in your comments. I am an impulsive writer, I have to write all in one, there and then, immediately, or I never go back to it. This was written 15 minutes before going to work. I think I am happy with it now and I hope it makes more sense to you...thankyou for your time and input, hugs💕

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author
RRG (Rebecca)

This is stellar Marion. I like how you captured a moment. A life-saving moment right before there is the horrible truth of inevitable pain. I really thought you would jump up out of that chair and stomp on that spider. But to be screaming instead... one life spared, another gone... and which one is more precious? The life of the child or the spider? Very surreal moment. If the spider had died, would the outcome have been different? Good stuff. Blessings.

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author
Marion Price

Thanks Rebecca, I think I am experimenting. Mental Health in all its forms and all its causes holds great interest for me. I also like to experiment with different perspectives, I don't think I got this quite right yet but I so appreciate your input and comment. Hugs 💕

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RRG (Rebecca)

:) Keep writing. That is what is important. Everyone's voice is unique. Refining it to be universal takes practice, but it will happen. Hugs and blessings. 

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Marion Price

Thankyou love, for your words of wisdom and support 💕

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Cherie Sumner-Taylor

Hi Marion..This is such an elusive narrative.....I feel a mother stressed out over receiving bad news she is not ready to handle, and her mind seems to be all over the place....lol  Somehow I think the spider may not be saving grace to focus on.  Very original story. I enjoyed. Thank you for sharing. xo ;)

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author
Marion Price

Hi Cherie, I have reworked it several times and may do so again. I love the comments from all of you...what you took it to mean, if anything, but it was written in haste as I wanted to get it down in case I forgot what I meant 🤣 it is really about putting off that moment of truth that you know is coming, that will destroy life as you know it and concentrating all your focus on anything other than the horror of the moment..so complete denial and disassociation.
Thankyou for taking the time ..hugs 💕

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author
Larry Ran

My Dear Marion,

Your amazing poem, brings back a memory from 16 months ago, when, in our old townhouse, a spider had built a small web under our sink in the powder room.  Upon entering the first time, she got in a very defensive position, thinking that I was going to harm her.  But, for over a month, we shared the room together, and actually bonded.  I even placed some lettuce in her web, thinking it would sustain her.  I still remember the sad morning, when I found her laying in her web, lifeless.  I cried for my little friend for a month, refusing to remove her body from the web.  So, when you use the spider to exemplify pure grief, I get it completely.

All my love,
Larry xxx

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author
Marion Price

Oh my god Larry, you sound like an extremely beautiful and soulful person, most people just stamp on them, hence the state of the world. And you are right, though I'm using a spider here as a focal point for deeper, terrible grief( or attempting to).. I love spiders anyway ( all living things). You story is beautiful and so sad...write about it...please, put that love into a beautiful poetic verse and then your little spider and your wonderful soul will live for eternity ...hugs and hugs ♥️

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author
Larry Ran

My Dear Marion,

I did write a poem about my friend the spider, when it happened over a year ago.  We will get back to you with the date I published it.  
Thank you for your lovely words.

All my love,
Larry xxx

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author
Anwer Ghani

 Very soft description with soft words.

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author
Marion Price

Thankyou for reading and commenting Anwer ....I hope you found some sense to my words and what I was trying to convey, I'm still working on it...😊🌹🌹

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