` THE TWIT CLUB `
A computer once beat me at chess!.....But it was no match for me at kick boxing!!
Born free.....taxed to death!!
Eat well....keep fit......DIE ANYWAY!!
For Sale:....Parachute. Only used once....never opened!
Love may be blind!....but marriage is a real eye opener!
What`s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year the dog still gets excited to see you!
Whenever I find the key to success some sod comes along and changes the bloody lock!!!
I found my birth certificate the other day.....It turned out to be a letter of apology from the condom company!!
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once!
If at first you don`t succeed!......Make sure you destroy all the evidence that shows you tried!
I let my mind wander the other day! Now I`m buggered!.... I can`t bloody remember where I left it!!
A bargain is something you don`t need!...at a price you can`t resist!
Do not argue with an idiot!.....He will just drag you down to his level and then beat you with the soggy end of all his experience!!
G xx
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Comments
this is the funniest thing i ever read linda
Hi Linda,
Thank you, I`m glad you enjoyed this one. They are just a silly bit of fun and there are more of them on my list with the same title if you would like to see them.
G xx
wonderfully hilarious!
Hi Lisa,
Thank you, I`m glad you found them funny and thank you for taking the time to read them.
Love G xx
Georgina great poem very funny I like the one about the birth certificate and let my mind wonder that would be me.
Hi Greg,
I hope you are well sweetie and thank you for reading this one, I plan to do more of them soon.
Love G xx
Hi Dear G,
All right, here goes!! Β I've written some responses to all your Twits.
1. But it beat you at wrestling
2. Isn't life great
3. But not as early
4. Is it a Golden Parachute?
5. Then how come so many married people can't see
6. After 24 years I'm still excited to see my wife
7. Call a locksmith
8. Someone should have used a "4x"
9. Except "making time" with someone
10. What do you do if at first you do succeed
11. Try looking on your shrinks couch
12. That's why they never have sales on sex
13. And also, don't argue with yourself
Love Ya,
xox Larry
Ha Ha very funny buster!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like number 11 though, why didn`t I think of that?!....Oh I know why!.....I can`t afford a bloody shrink that`s why!!!!
Glad you liked them honey
I love you both
G xx