Poem -
The Void
Conned by currency
Lured in gently
Hours wasted generously...
I am full time employed
Melded soft metal
Idea's now skeletal
Decaying wilted petals...
A scream with no noise
A stunning star collapsesΒ
No more quick firing synapses
The addict relapses...Β
His dreams are destroyedΒ
Disposable consciousnessΒ
A pawn in all of this
The blackness of all of it
Welcome to...The void
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Comments
EXCELLENT is the singular word that comes to me....... the intent comes shining through beautifully as the struggle with the human condition ~Β Being ~ "A pawn in all of this..".....BUT....what I LOVE about this is the formatting and the rhyme scheme.....A,A,A,B,Β C,C,C,BΒ Β D,D,D,BΒ E,E,E,B.......this reads aloud AMAZINGLY well!!...... Bravo brother !!????? ......PINNED for perfection!!.... definitely one of my Fav's from you!!......smokin' grooves!!....Smokin' ass grooves!!........ Kings to you!!.......T xo ?β΄β€
Thank you so much for your kind comment Tony. I'm glad you enjoyed the rhyming sequence and the poem.Β
I don't have much time to write lately due to my new job, that's the inspiration behind my poem. Sometimes it feels like I've built my own cage lol.
Thanks for stopping by - Syd xoΒ
This is amazing, the void, that place where we just get on with it, forgetting to live, forgetting to love, just earning enough to satisfy our needs.
But, there is a quote that comes to mind, I first heard it in the film
Flight of the phoenix.
yes, we do build our cages but your in the new job to wake people up, your infectious, a host to love and everything great, never forget that Syd.
Aww, cheers Gerard. That's a really uplifting comment mate. I remember those lines, I quite like the film.
Thank you - SydΒ
This was excellent, Syd.
I really enjoyed the upbeat cadence and flow of this. It sounds fantastic when read aloud.
I can tell a lot of time and thought went into the poems creation.
Outstanding!
~Dean
Wow! Thank you so much for your comment Dean. I'm glad you like this poem so much. Your writing too always flows very well and they have a rhythm which makes them easy to read.Β
Thanks for reading and leaving feedback. Much appreciated.
- SydΒ
You're more than welcome, Syd.
My pleasure.
~Dean βΊοΈ
That is a pure piece of authentic poetry...Β it will linger in the mind well after the readingΒ
thank you
Thank you Al, I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. Thank you for reading and leaving feed back.
- SydΒ
My Dear Friend Syd,
As many have just said before me, this is a brilliant write.
As you may know, Linda and I are experiencing the same thing, with her new job, having come out of retirement for the third time, in order to stoke our dwindling coffers.Β The money she is generating has provided me with the funds to continue my forte, which is buying and selling older paintings.
But at our ages, we look over our past, and how we should have had a tremendous nest egg, but, spent money like it was water.
Hence comes "the void", of not knowing how one ends up in this position.
Love,
Larry xxx
Thank you for reading and leaving feed back Larry. I'm fortunate enough to have a good pension scheme although I haven't been paying into it for long.
If I live long enough to retire I'll be happy, if not it'll be a lump sum for my family.
- Syd xxxΒ
I actually loved this fantastic well done :)
Thank you Jamie. I'm glad you like it. I appreciate you reading and leaving feed back.
- SydΒ
This is another outstanding piece!
Thanks again Lisa. I'm glad you enjoyed this one. It's written from personal experience.
- Syd xoΒ