The war in me

I have to let go 
but there were so many good times, no
Remembering the good days like sunshine casting rays 
I believed I’d be loved forever
But in reality ....however
It didn’t take long to see that it was never really about me
I was a pawn in the narcissists game
our feelings were never the same 
Built up just to be knocked down harder constantly thinking I wish I’d been smarter 
The war inside me feels so strong because it’s hard to know whose side I’m on
Trying so hard to be free
of the memories that used to be 
Again sucked back in to the show knowing full well I have to let go 
Eventually I know I’ll get better because I’ve never heard of a war that lasted forever.