These Monsters In My Head

I feel crazy
I hear the demons howling
They spew venom as if it’s their native tongue
And once again I’m defenseless against their tactics

They start off as one and then like a hydra, the heads become countless
Their voices are so loud, it’s deafening
I scream in an attempt to challenge their words
But to no avail, my voice is like a whisper to them

I look crazy fighting this battle with these…monsters
I say monsters and not thoughts because thoughts do not make you afraid
Thoughts do not make you cover your ears and beg for silence
Thoughts cannot make you feel this crazy, can they?

These thoughts aren’t mine, but they’ve been apart of me since I can remember
Anxiety with it’s overwhelming fear and self doubt
Depression and the hopelessness of it all and lack to do anything as basic as self care
Then trauma, the worst part of me I can’t escape, it’s always there….whispering seeds of distrust or malintent

Oh, these monsters in my head
When will this finally end?
Will I ever find peace?
Or will this disease do me in?