This Love

Love is lying on the banquet table
Overripe and bruised
Love, the meaning of fear and of life
Censoring my dreams
My greatest joy and deepest abyss
Treacherous love, chaos and despair
Addiction of bliss and departures
Swirling in my veins, storming my cellular barriers
Plucking the threads of my well-designed tapestry 
So prudent in all its decorous imagery
Love running through the threads
Severing heartstrings
Scissors sharp and twice as cruel
Only this is
Colder than love 

Love is hands pulling at laces
Teeth biting necks, grazing skin
Deeper than thorns, deeper than midnight
Tearing never fulfilling
Empty words written only in water, crying
Love, is somehow not meant for me
Yesterdays loom stark and white 
Empty bathtubs I never filled with memories
And the pull of you brings me only pain, only pain
But love is demon bitterness 
Singing your name in my ear
Your eyes, distant, turn to me for a second
Love kicks me back into illusion
Maybe 
He loves me

Hanging on the warped wire of crazy
Bruises down my throat
Wanting to believe 
This thing that rips me up and cares not
Somehow needs me too
Killer elite
Naked crying always leaving
This love