Thought

 Im supposed to be happy , to tell how wonderful life has been to me that god has blessed me in so many ways, im supposed to write about love about what a wonderful feeling it is such joy such passion , i been frowned upon since all i do is sit in a dark room pretending all is right that every day is a constant fight holding back tears dreaming i am strong saying to myself that your departure didnt affect me, how to scrible joyful words when inside i am dead, everybody abandoned me when i broke , to a god i begged to help with my suffering i begged and begged to no response, countless times a blade kissed my wrists trying to flow out all the pain , such pain a broken heart can give , so much love thrown away in an instant no second thoughts, as you enjoy life im left picking up the pieces , how many letters must i write to heal this heart to erase so much pain , a broken individual trying to be whole again , nothing makes sense when your good your bad when your bad your good nothing makes sense and yet life goes on , to you i will be that person that loved you with all his heart to you i was all and at the end i was nothing .......