Through the eyes of a child
Through the eyes of a child...
To you it’s just a plane, taking people to and from;
To me it’s a symbol of danger and fear of a falling bomb.
People in the street running scared, begging pleas;
I can hear it’s engines getting louder as I fall to my knees.
Please not again, don’t do this to my town;
I’ve seen too much destruction and bombs falling down.
I want to run with gay abandon, wild and free;
I don’t understand why you want to kill people and take my childhood from me.
I see it getting closer, I’m frozen to my core;
Rubble falls around me, my street is now no more.
Just piles of bricks and twisted metal, that’s all there is left;
People stumbling, bleeding, weeping, my town is bereft.
I climb to my feet, slowly, I’m uncontrollably shaking;
My eyes full of brick dust and my body is aching.
I look to where my house once stood, no more is it my home;
I stand now an orphan, injured, frightened, all alone.
You’ll never know my name or even care what you have done;
I was just a target, an order, not someone’s daughter or son.
I hope one day I’ll see you as just a plane in the sky;
With no fear and no worries as I’m watching you flying by.
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Comments
Hi TRACEY!!.....I LOVE the heart of the intent of this piece.......you have a VERY strong sense of rhythm and timing in your delivery which helps the flow of the whole and creates the compelling nature of the read!!.....Some truly shining phrasing running throughout!!........A great choice of subject matter for which you do justice BEAUTIFULLY!!......ALL STARS!!......Kings to you dear poet sister!!......LOVE & ROCKETS!!......T xo ??✴??
Thank you Tony once again for your positive feedback & appreciation for this piece of work. ? It’s a hugely emotive piece for me & one I hope that resonates. Forever grateful ????
Tracey this is brilliant, great rhythm and flow. A subject that needs to be kept in peoples minds. When Theresa May decided to join in without consulting parliament it made me want to cry. Great write.
Nigel
Thanks so much Nigel. I’m really pleased you like it & yes, me too. Children I feel always suffer the most & they are the forgotten ones. Thanks for your feedback & appreciation ???
A lovely piece of work........
Thank you so much Kieran ??
Superlative ?✌️??
Thank you so much Charu ?
Hi Tracey, this is a skilled piece of work that flows beautifully and recounts a heartbreaking sequence of events from a personal rather than a political stance.It speaks bluntly about what the narrator is actually experiencing..sadly. An engrossing and contemplative read..well done!
Lodigiana xx
Thank you so much for your positive feedback & appreciation of this piece Lodigiana ? ?xx
You are more than welcome! xx
Hello Tracey...
Children ask a lot of questions but, the reaction and answers we receive when we ask their point of views is enlightening...
Great write!
Thank you for sharing...
Hugs...
sparrowsong
Thank you for your positive feedback Sparrowsong & you are so right about children’s viewpoints. If more listened to children, maybe the world would be a better place ?? x
Tragically epic, a most wonderful yet sad poem, Im there, I can hear the bombs, feel the earth and taste its blood, from birth some children no nothing but war and for this humanity deserves complete annialation.
Hi Gerard, thank you for reading this & your kind appreciation. You are so right, children should not have to grow up ever knowing war. It’s absolutely heartbreaking. Thanks once again ? xx
Dear Tracey,
This is another of your very powerful works. My comment on your last poem, was a capsule recounting the boyhood memories it brought back to me. However, now you will see, that I do most of my comments poetically.
Their loudest roar fills full my ears
Their mission brings such dreaded fears
The bombs start reigning terror wide
Their targets have nowhere to hide
.
After the planes then fly away
People in the streets dead lay
The lovely place I once called home
Destroyed with them, me all alone
Peace and Love,
Larry xxx
I love the poetic feedback, Larry! It totally compliments this piece perfectly. Thank you so much for your appreciation, on both of my poems. Forever grateful ??x
Tracey, Written so well...A very touching poem from the child's perspective. Loved it and a deserving write for the nomination...
Thank you so much for your kind words & positive feedback Terry ? It means such a lot. I’m overwhelmed by the nomination & extremely humbled. I can’t thank everyone enough for the lovely comments this piece has received xx
I just want to say the biggest thank you to each & every person who read, nominated & voted for my poem. I’m overwhelmed to have won first place. I’m incredibly grateful. I’m also so very humbled indeed by the positive comments & appreciation for my piece xx
A deserved winner! Well done.
Thank you so much Emma :) I’m absolutely delighted x
Congratulations what a touching piece, I felt the fear and heartache reading this, such a sad reality
my soul aches for all wars to end
The innocent children, people
Going though such a horrific experience, brings you to tears of anger and sadness
Much love Deano. ❤️
Thank you so much Deano ? I’m so thrilled to win. It’s a heartbreaking subject matter & I hope one day we see & hear less of children suffering ?? x
Wouldn't that be wonderful
i hope so too, for the world to come together out of love, not fear, living in peaceful harmony
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
We can but hope & dream of a better world Deano ??x
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hi Tracey ???? congratulations these
piece is off one that i knew right away it would split my heart in two ... Beautifully ✍????so much of what this wite is suppose feel like. A joy reading.
congrats sister poet⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐??
? ?poetry?delivery???
Thank you for your kind words, PoetryDelivery ? I’m still in shock that it won! There are so many brilliant poets & fantastic entries that it so humbling to be nominated, let alone win! I’m so happy this piece touched so many ??x
Congratulations Tracey, so pleased that this is a winner. Totally deserved.
Nigel
Thank you so much Nigel. It was your comments on my last poem that reminded me I needed to finish this one, so thank you for that as it was completed & here we now are ?? I never thought I’d ever win as there are some incredible pieces of works so to be just nominated is an honour in itself. Thank you once again for your positivity & comments. It means such a lot ?? x
Just keep writing Tracey. Now you have proof you're good.
Congrats again
Nigel
You poem evokes the element
of surprise good write angel
Thank you so much Angel ?
"I want to run with gay abandon, wild and free" was this poems most captivating line if you ask me.
Well done, and congratulations on your win, Tracey! (:
Maybe a few suggestions? Don't be shy about really describing the disastrous scene and effects it has on "you", just how ruined everything is. For instance, your lungs could be "filled with dust brick".
The use of more imagery would make this piece perfect, though it's not far off.
I commend you for tackling this issue.
Thank you Mai :) Ahh well, the whole intent of this piece was about ‘imagining’ how a child would be feeling and affected who is directly in a war, not about me or how I would be affected so it had to be, as the title says “Through a Child’s Eyes”. Writing about how ‘I’ would be affected would be a whole other poem :) Yes I’m delighted with 1st place. I’m grateful for everyone who voted :)
Congrats on an outstanding win. well crafted
Thank you so very much, Poetessdarkly ? I’m still in shock that it won but my goodness me what a confidence boost it was. Thanks once again ?? x
you have a sincerity in your work that is so hard to find these days, yet you do not compromise your intelligence by trying to desperately explain it the easiest way possible. truly amazing.
Thank you so very much, Shawn. I really appreciate your kind words & feedback on my work. Welcome to Cosmo! I hope you get as much out of it as I have ??
Hi Tracey. This poem is very moving and highlights the suffering of children and the tragedy of conflict upon the human condition. Congratulations on your success! An important piece of literature that we must learn from. Have you read Wilfred Owen´s Dulce Et Decorum Est. I recommend it, it contains a message similar to your poem about the pity of war and conflict. Very powerful indeed. The actor Christopher Eccleston did a reading of it some years ago on Remembrance Day, maybe you would like to watch it on Youtube. I am an ex serviceman and I understand your poem and found it deeply touching. Thank you.
Thank you so much for your appreciation of this piece, Tony. I know exactly the poem by Wilfred Owen you refer to. It’s a hugely emotional poem & I saw it read by Christopher Eccleston too. This is one of my own favourite pieces of work & I’m so pleased it touched so many. As an ex serviceman you have my full respect.