Ticking Away...

I keep thinking I'm sinking...?
In my dreams, I feel nothing but fear...
Awake I'm fake, I'm confident, Full of cheer...
Well, that's how I appear...
No blink sandwich here...
No gloating either my dear...
Treading on my dick sure seems to be a habit of mine...
So in hindsight & oh father time...
We seem to think it over once we've committed the crime...
That's not how it works, unfortunately...
Every action causes a reaction... 
Ripple effects every time...
No matter how little or big the damage we do...
Forgiveness I seek every day...
I think about everything, not one thing at one time...
Compassion & kindness... 
Yeah, that's a bit of me...
What other way is there to be...
Understanding doesn't grow on a tree...
Others seem to think that who I am made me weak...
Lucky for me it is not their approval I seek...
Every day I find more of my inner peace...
That's me that's my truth...
Yes nasty I could do, been there done that... 
Had a lot of apologizing to do...
 I get nothing out of mockery...
I wanna make anyone & everyone smile at any given time...
That's my ticking clock...
Ticking all the time...