Time

Tick…Tick…Tick

Goes the clock its somehow harsh red numbers stare out at me in the dark.

Tick …Tick…Tick

How long has it been now? How many minutes? Have I been laying here looking at this tiny clock?

Eight minutes.

Tick….Tick…Tick…

Have I truly been staring at the damn clock this way? Totally empty? Blank?

Tick…Tick…Tick...

Maybe there is too much to think about. Maybe I should thank this clock for giving my mind a break.

Tick...Tick…Tick…

I need to get up. I need to seize the day. Even if the rain has turned my lawn into a swamp like mud puddles that I have to walk across in boots on days like this.

Tick…Tick... Tick…

What is it about rain? It seeps into the hollow parts of you. Making you want to wrap yourself in a blanket or a lovers arms.

Tick…Tick...Tick...

Ten minutes. 10 whole minutes. 60 seconds a piece. So much time.

How many minutes late is he now?

Was it a traffic-jam?

Tick….Tick...Tick

An eight hour traffic jam? Ha, what a ridiculous thought.

Tick...Tick...Tick

I rise, make the bed, well one side of it.

I stretch and stare out of the small window on the wall in front of me; the morning sun is peeking ever so slightly above the storm clouds that have consumed the grey-like sky.

Tick… Tick Tick

Twenty minutes. Eight Hours and Twenty minutes. Late always, late.

Tick Tick Tick

I move to the bathroom whose mirror stares back at me with judgmental eyes.

Tick… tick …Tick

Can’t escape the ticking

I look at the woman in the mirror before me, her blue ice like eyes devoid of life. The short blonde hair askew from sleeping. The small lines that curve around her mouth. More pronounced in this light.

The naked aged woman is staring at me.

Tick… Tick… Tick

She’s laughing

Tick…. Tick…. Tick

I wonder if she knows something I don’t.

Tick…. Tick… Tick

Thirty Two minutes. Eight hours and thirty two minutes.

Tick Tick Tick

Who is he with? Who does he cling to? Not you says the women in the mirror.

The sound of the water in the showing spraying is harsh and violent.

Tick tick tick

How is it that I can hear the clock?

Tick tick tick

The water pulsates across my skin. But the hollow parts of me will not be warmed.

Tick Tick Tick

How much later could he be?

How could he be so cruel?

I have not been blind, just forgiving.

He used to call …..Later trying desperately to conceal his crime, his hands would roam my body.

Tick Tick Tick

Not out of love just pity. The towel is fresh and white. I run it across my skin trying to absorb its purity.

Tick Tick Tick

Fifty Five minutes.

Eight hours and fifty five minutes.

The hair dryer is screaming and scalding my scalp. The woman in the mirror does not wince.

Tick tick Tick

Scalding like the sun on our bodies one Sunday afternoon by the lake

So much love…

Tick…Tick…Tick...

Now I go to dress. A simple outfit will do.

Tick…Tick…Tick

Black, velvet slithers over my naked flesh, falling at my knees the simple lines of my dress appropriate.

Tick tick Tick

No makeup, No beauty.

No makeup, but dignity.

Tick Tick Tick

Nine hours. Five minutes.

Tick Tick Tick

Another way? No. a bottle of sleeping pills

Tick Tick Tick

A fresh bottle of wine.

Nine hours fifteen minutes.

So much time…

Wasted, Empty.

Tick tick tick

The pills slide down my throat brilliantly. The wine making it easier

Tick Tick

I lie on the couch, arms folded over my chest legs straight.

No note to be left

Tick tick

9 hours 25 minutes or 26 minutes?

So much time

Will he be here?

Tick Tick

No time left now

Tick tick

So much...

Tick

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