Poem -
Torment
I’m releasing myself from the torment of love. It doesn’t fulfil me anymore, though it takes all I have to give and more so I’ve not the strength to stand
I relinquish the prayers I said for you, the ones no god would hear. I’m smudging the flowers you bought for me, so the air can be free from your spell
I’m freeing myself from the shackles of love. The ones that kept me chained to you as you dragged me through the streets at dawn
My lungs will ache without your fix, though they’ll know fulfilment when you’re expelled. I will know fresh air again and purge myself of your scent
And you will see all that you lost as you seep from the pores I made home for you.
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Comments
wow, that is some intense wordplay, Lauren Becca, so riveting, love this
'My lungs will ache without your fix, though they’ll know fullfilment when you’re expelled.'Â
o mother of heartbreak city, these are some HEAVY freakin lyrics to thunder down, lord have mercy, poet, the hairs on me arms are straight up, your pen should be registered as 'lethal' just sayin  So Impressive! respect, poetess   Â
Thanks so much Christopher! A lot of the time I write what I feel and in matters of the heart I like to be brutally honest no matter how hard it can be to put those emotions into words
Your acid-tipped pen is especially adept at punctuating a poem with a devastating final line.
You really know how to leave the reader reeling!!
J ;)
You know it is often the final line I struggle with most! Its hard to finish sometimes when you get sucked in to what you're writing isnt it? ? thank you for saying that. Whats your favourite poem you've shared? I'd love to read it ??
Really?! It surprises me that you say you 'struggle' with it. Judging by everything of yours I've read so far, I'd say you have a gift for ending your poems with a punch...which is crucial.
It is difficult to finish, you're right. Though I write mostly in the sonnet form, so having that restriction of only fourteen lines rather focuses the mind.
To answer your question, my favourite of my own poems is Naked. It was written and posted a month ago...it's the third piece on my page, if you want to have a look.
J ;)
I definitely agree that the ending line has to have a punch! I try not to overthink it. I will go and look at your piece now ??
Hi Lauren, This is brilliant, Ive just read it to a friend of mine going through a difficult time. I really loved your words. To feel fresh air again and free yourself form this torment....Its perfect
Well doneÂ
Lorna
xx
Aw Lorna thank you so much you've made my day! ❤ i hope your friend is ok and they can take strength from it and move on ❤❤ love is a tricky thing to navigate some times xx