toxic memories

I apologize again. For mistakes I never repeat. For mistakes that haunt my every step and cause rot under my feet. For mistakes I'll make everyday and regrets I'll soon forget. For that time I said the wrong thing and it sent the universe into fret.

I take another drink, trying to wash away the taste. Of another day I miss. Another memory gone to waste. I soak my pores in vodka, to shatter the mirage. Look at me again darling, look at this drooling girl of gauze

Tell me I'm pretty baby. Say it so I hurt. Give me another empty compliment, say them til I burn. 'Your emotions are invalid, we see who you really are. A pretty girl who's fucked in the head she's as constant as the Stars'.

Tell me stories of when I was young, the summers I spent on the boat. Tell me about the park and the ice cream man. Tell me about the girl who died for a joke. 

Let's talk about my best friend. Insecure and craving. Let's talk about how she's famous now but she'll always need saving.