To Trust or not to Trust. God?

I think I'm having problems with my FAITH.

I think I'm AFRAID to TRUST GOD.

I'm afraid to trust him to do something,

Just in case he doesn't do it.

If I trust him to do something and then he doesn't do it,

Or it doesn't pan out the way I wanted it to

Or even PRAYED for it to be,

Then that could ultimately BREAK my trust in him.

That could lead to me not believing in him. 

Not believing in his promise to answer my prayers.

I think I'm having problems with my FAITH.

I think I'm AFRAID to TRUST GOD.

I'm afraid to trust him to do something,

Just in case he doesn't do it.

I mean the bible does say:

"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, You can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you."

That same bible also says,

"...whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours".

But the thing is I have prayed to God believing things will happen before,

Full of faith,

Convicted of results.

But then they didn't happen!

I think I'm having problems with my FAITH.

I think I'm AFRAID to TRUST GOD.

I'm afraid to trust him to do something,

Just in case he doesn't do it.

Don't get me wrong,

I'm not doubting the power of God.

I know he is all capable and all powerful.

I know he answers Prayers.

I know God CAN.

The question is where am I getting it wrong?

Why is it that sometimes my bunker buster prayers get a 'no' answer?

I think I'm having problems with my FAITH.

I think I'm AFRAID to TRUST GOD.

I'm afraid to trust him to do something,

Just in case he doesn't do it.

Is it that I lack Faith? (as small as a mustard seed)

Is it that those things are not part of Gods' plan?...

Coz if it’s like that then why bother.

Why pray if HIS PLAN is what's going to prevail?

Was I praying wrong?

How does this Faith-Answered prayers-Moving mountains thing work?

I think I'm having problems with my FAITH.

I think I'm AFRAID to TRUST GOD.

I'm afraid to trust him to do something,

Just in case he doesn't do it.

So what I decided to do subconsciously,

My "short term contingency plan",

Was to stop expecting things from God.

I stopped praying EXPECTING results

But instead began making SUGGESTIONS to God.

I don't pray bold, definitive prayers anymore,

I make suggestions. "God please, it would be nice if..."

I think I'm having problems with my FAITH.

I think I'm AFRAID to TRUST GOD.

I'm afraid to trust him to do something,

Just in case he doesn't do it.

I don't want to be disappointed or angry with God.

I want to keep the peace.

I want to keep that belief that he is all powerful and in control,

That if I ASK and have faith in him to ACT, He Will.

I want to always believe that he has the power to and will grant the deep desires of my heart.

So I keep the peace.

I think I'm having problems with my FAITH.

I think I'm AFRAID to TRUST GOD.

I'm afraid to trust him to do something,

Just in case he doesn't do it.

I don't ask for much JUST IN CASE I don't get it.

I don't expect spectacular things from God,

Just in case he doesn't pull though.

That way if he does it’s a bonus.

If he does, I'm pleasantly surprised.

I'm happy.

I think I'm having problems with my FAITH.

I think I'm AFRAID to TRUST GOD.

I'm afraid to trust him to do something,

Just in case he doesn't do it.

I don't know how long ago this started.

I don't know what exactly led to these sentiments.

What I do know is that things are NOT supposed to be like this.

I am meant to trust God ALWAYS and in ALL WAYS.

I'm meant to believe in him and answered prayers.

What I don't get is HOW DOES IT WORK?

I think I'm having problems with my FAITH.

I think I'm AFRAID to TRUST GOD.

I'm afraid to trust him to do something,

Just in case he doesn't do it.

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