Two Ticket in 10 Minutes

(circa 2014)

I had a hot date with a Filipina
named Helen I met online.
We were meeting in NYC at 10am
this fine August Saturday morning.
 
I drive down Warwick Turnpike
towards Ringwood.
At the stop sign and old dumptruck
gets in front of me driving 25 mph.
 
I pass going over a double line
to pass the behemoth and
hear the siren and pull over.
 
The West Milford officer
asks me what the rush is,
and as I had him a Police PBA Card,
I tell him I have a hot date in NYC
and did not want to be late
because I was stuck behind a slow truck
for the next 10 miles.
 
He laughs, and says
“That was honest.”
He takes the card and says
“Enjoy your date, and don’t
pass on a double yellow line again.”
 
I get back on the road and
begin speeding again
by the Monksville Resovoir,
and see a Ringwood police car
pull out with the lights on.
 
It is a young police officer,
and he asks what the rush is.
I tell him I have a hot date in
NYC with beautiful Filipina.
 
I lie and tell him I left my
PBA card on my dresser drawer and
I have friends who are police officers.
 
He laughs and says,
“Wow,  you are honest.
I have to give you a ticket for something.
I will give you a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt,
that has not points,  it will cost you $25.”
 
Pulled over twice in 10 minutes,
only $25,  not bad.
 
I get back on the road,
and make my NYC rendezvous
meeting place on time.

We marry in January of 2016.