"I am mentally undressing your covered self-esteem", he said out of the blue.
My stomach on a a free fall, I tried finding a rope, anything to avoid the trauma but found nothing. The impact is brutal.
Afraid to be exposed, I immediately snatched his glasses to look blur.
I stepped back and collided into the bookshelf in the astronomy section,
as my eyes catched a book about black holes, I wished I mastered the art of astro projection.
I want to get out of this body to withdraw from his gaze.
I am stuck between books and his shrewd mind,
and I try to remember every line on the list I wrote two months ago about how and why I am not enough.
1. I am bad at talking, my tongue becomes sluggish and all my neurons lose my head as if they had forgotten how to connect, how a brain is supposed to think.
"I like how you seem to weight every word you say, and how you give up when you think I am not interested meanwhile I am drinking every word and licking every letter that comes out of this mouth I desperetaly want to taste." he added.
2. I am small, as if my body had given up when it realized that this world was too big for me anyway.
" I am always looking at you, even when you don't know it. Especially when you're forced to climb up a stool to grab a book to high for you. And every time I have to refrain myself not to hold you, afraid you might fall. Did you know I have vertigo ?"
3. He gives me vertigo ... damn this one isn't even on the list !
Is this how it feels when a boy undresses you ? I want to be the moon. I want to be the moon hidden behind clouds. And I want his arms to be those clouds. When did my line become so cheesy ?
He's mentally undressing my covered self-esteem, and still, the echo of my body makes it feel so real.