unfinished

I have you,

with me, I open my eyes and the first thing I see is your smile and your lips, which kiss my forehead 

and the feel of your arms which tighten around me and pull up the hem of your t-shirt, which you always said looked best on me

and your hand is tangled in my hair gently scratching my scalp, my ear is pressed to your chest

the warmest I've ever felt 

and I can feel your heartbeat, my breathing syncing to it, as your other hand brushes the skin on my wrist feeling mine.

I want to be in this moment forever , I've never felt as safe and as whole. We finish each other - make up for what we're missing inside 

I look up and see that you're already looking at me and your hand reaches to point my chin upwards 

just before I can kiss you and finally tell you what I've been meaning to, my alarm goes off 

I jerk awake and find myself desperately clutching my pillow the way I wish I would've held you.

maybe you wouldn't have left if I did 

i reluctantly get up and go about my day in a zombie-like state, half present since the only time I am able to fully come alive anymore is when I'm asleep

only then is when I can be with you