untitled

He told me that he loved me 
So I started loving him.
He told me that would never hurt me 
So I let my guard down.
He asked me if I trusted him 
And well, I did.
I trusted him with my mind when he whispered sweet nothings.
I trusted him with my eyes
When I saw the best in him.
I trusted him with my lips 
when I thought every kiss represented the contract of loyalty that we just kept signing.
His lips read sign here, but he overlooked the fine print on mine.
I read the contract in his eyes, but I suppose the contract in mine was a deal he was not interested in. 
I asked him to print his name on my heart and his initial in my mind. 
But instead, he used his pen to mark up my body with signs that I thought symbolized love.
I trusted him with my hands when I let him hold them with innocent intentions.
I trusted him with my lungs when I allowed him to take my breath away 
I trusted him with my ears when I listened to every insincere apology 
But worst of all.
I trusted him with my heart.
I gave him the ability to break it at his leisure. 
I reserved a portion of it just so he knew how much he meant to me.
I gave him the key and told him to be careful. 
I just wanted to follow my heart carelessly. 
But with him leading the way I always ended up in his bedroom. 
I fell for him originally because of the way he looked at me.
The way I could feel his heartbeat get faster when pressed against mine.
The way he would dance with me.
The way we never ran out of things to talk about despite the hundreds of midnight phone calls.
The way he would let me win at every game we played.
The way our play fights turned into much more.
All of these reasons are why I stayed so long.
They've had to of meant something to him too
Right...
It wasn't until I finally realized that 
When he looked at me he didn't see me the way he should've. 
I realized his increased heartbeat was caused by other things.
I accepted that he only danced with me to prove that he could be something he wasn't.
I understood that he only called me so much because he had nothing better to do.
He let me win every game we played because he never cared enough to actually try.
And I never realized how we used wrestling as an excuse to get on top of each other and pretend like we were in love. 

but at this point, I wasn't pretending 
I loved everything we did-
I guess I just forgot that we were only kids.
He told me he loved me 
And I should've saw it then 
That he only wanted me to trust him 
So I would let him in.
             
                                              - t.w