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Lie to yourself. It makes it easier. 
When you look in the mirror smile. 
that's if you're homeless, your best friends committed suicide or you're hurting.

Tell yourself you're strong, that you can overcome anything
Tell yourself that it's your fault so that the pain you feel goes away because you refuse to spend eternity stabbing yourself

You can't hate yourself and when you do... turn it off. 
Make the pain go away by pretending not to care 

I learned that from binge watching Netflix shows about vampires.

Do things like that.
Put yourself in supernatural world, hope that any other life is better than yours
And when someone asks if you're okay... lie. 
Tell them that everything is fine. 
Except don't cry like I do.... your lie will fall apart.

When you need sympathy, make some. 
Even if it's the biggest lie ever... 
Because that lie didn't kill anyone like that cancer was killing you. 
Even if the truth will ruin your friendships
Stop feeling bad. 

That only makes you cry when you write poems like this.
God, please write poems like this.
Otherwise you'll have to talk to people that you'll depend on.

Don't depend on people. Ever. 
Because he will never be there to hear these problems. 
Even if he told you he'd be there... 
Because remember he said he wasn't perfect
and it wasn't his fault you believed he was

You're going to end up alone.
Alone because you can't help inflicting this pain on yourself
and the people who claim they love you don't know how to deal with that 
so they say they don't want you hurt
I thank Chris for telling me he couldn't handle it. 
That truth was more than enough to make me happy... or at least pretend to be

Life is truly as lonely as it seems. 
It doesn't get better. 
You'll only end up crying in your head after an argument with your parents 

Go to sleep upset. 
Wake up to a tap on the shoulder in the middle of the night
"You gotta be stronger than that"-conversations that end in I love you
Wanting to believe that you can be
Lying to believe that you can be
And it all goes back to the beginning 

Lie to yourself. It makes it easier.
"I am happy"