Poem -

Taking Blessed Chances

Taking Blessed Chances

How long to the nether
So wrong to be clever
If its hell I'll be weathered
heaven shall be treasured
With all the trust in the sky
And all the lust in the eyes
The cream of the corn
And the Crust of the pie

Like loin was the night
White linnen isent quite
What you take into a fight
So you better make it right..
Sometimes the mess, ya'dont
just clean up

And sometimes your chest, just
 wont puff up

Ya sometimes your best just
aint enough

And sometimes your blessed to
just wake up

Chances are without a doubt
they probably wont hear it out

But Before i count
before i pound this snare drum aloud
Before the feet lift of the ground

Before the crowd draw the police
You gotta Learn how to follow
before you go-and-try to lead

Some times your pressed
Pressed for luck
Sometimes your guess
is good as none
Some times the mess
you dont just wipe up
And some times your blessed
to just wake up

 
It wont be free
and wont be easy
I might be me
and might be cheesey

no remorce no voodoo curse
No crule intentions or lies in church
All your worth is how you vesrse
The only thing we know for sure
Is what we bring upon this earth

Is what you take back to dirt
Some times the mess ya dont
Just wipe up
Some times your chest just
wont puff up
Sometimes your best
Just aint enough
And some times your blessed
to just wake up

 

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Comments

author
Bradford

Sometimes your best 
just ain’t enough 
and sometimes your blessed just to wake up 
great write , loved the lines above , rock 

Reply
author
Edward Williams

Thanks hard rock .and those were tge two lines i started with?.its kinda kool how they stuck out to you i knew there was somthin about those lines i wrote the rest around them lol 
rock on 

Reply
author
Katina Woodruff...

I agree with Cheri's comment, it reads like a song. You can hear the beats of the words. 

Favorite lines 

The cream of the corn
And the Crust of the pie

Possible titles:
Blessed to Wake Up
Taking Chances 
Taking Chances with Poetry 

Just initial ideas. Okay, I read two of your poems. I detected a theme. Life & it's ups and downs. 

I have some home work for you. Write down on a text editor, all the styles of poetry you know how to write such as: Ode, Ballad,  Sonnets, Limerick, Haiku, Narrative, Lyric, etc. Home work: Write 1 Haiku, 1 ABC Poem, 1 Acrostic Poem. Then check out some you tube videos on: Stress and Unstress metered poetry or how to write iambic petameter, there are a ton of videos available on you tube, to help get you started on something new. I recommend learning at least 10 styles of poetry for a collection. Just ideas for now. Great work! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpsaX2sWbEo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qC2eUW61Sw&t=1s

Reply
author
Edward Williams

Wow thanks for careinf so much Katina .so far the only form i know is freestyle lol..but i will surlly go and try to educate my self some times i think im mixing hikoos with sonnets limeraks with odes etc lol ( excuse my spelling im very cumputer ileterate acually dont have one everything i do is in my phone and i dont know what otg with my spelchecker its not giving me correct spelling it just gives me my history of misssprlled words ..i got see if i can fix it lol

Thanks for reading
hugs
Eddy

Reply
author
Katina Woodruff...

Laughing with you. If the rest of the authors at Cosmofunnel, could see all my replies, critiques and email messages before I do a 2nd spell check, they would be so disappointed that as an English major -- I stink at spelling. My one big New Year's Resolution is to collect all the red-underlined words, I'm going to write them all down ten or twenty times each to learn the words I misspell the most. I would have got to more of your writing today but my brain went into hibernation mid-day. I'm trying to finish a first novel and I'm right at the end... the characters in the story are still evolving so I'm taking my time to complete an ending. I want it to be a surprise at the end. I'll get to more of your work tomorrow. Enjoy your night. 
 

Reply
author
Edward Williams

Lol im such a horible speller aswell ..thank you for taking the time to read my work and the feed back i enjoy your poetry as well hv great night

Reply
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