Untitled 6/17/11

i operate the weight machine
at the gym 

i watch the veins 
come out of my arms 

i am magnificent 

i look at myself in the mirror
i lift my shirt 
and see my ripped up abs  
i smile real big 

then the arms of the machine come to life
and i'm tackled to the ground
and all of my clothes get torn off 
and the machine has sex with me 
woah 
a nice thick handlebar into my asshole

i breathe hard into the mirror 
as it's happening - i draw with my finger into the fog
help

ah
ah
ah
stop

and take pictures 
then i post them on instagram  
caption: help i’m being raped

then i'm being dragged out of the gym 
by a group of meatheads 
i'm told i am banned for life 
and the police are coming 
they say i'm in a lot of trouble 

what the freaking heck!? i was the victim!!!
your machines are rapists!!!
they say it was the other way around
they got it all on camera 

i'm being set up!!!
i escape their grips and outrun them 
they are slow because their muscles are so large  
i get in my car 

two of them get into a car and try to follow
but i've seen Drive with Ryan Gosling like 10 times
i lose them easily 

all my clothes were left at the gym in tatters
and i don't have any in my car 
just a couple mcdonald’s bags 
and some tape
i make it work

i pull up to my apartment 
as i'm walking up the steps 
some kids across the street scream "freeeeaaaaaaak" 

but nobody fucking disrespects me 
and gets away with it 

REEEEEEEE!!! i scream and charge

but my mcdonald’s bags fly off 
and my dick and balls are flopping around 
the kids shriek and flee
ahhhh my nuts
i gotta hold them so they stop banging against my legs

CHICKENS!!! i scream after them

i feel good 
i won the fight!
real good
i sprint back home

my key isn't working again 
so i break in through a window again

my girlfriend's on the couch, she gets up 
runs and screams down the hallway 
'HE'S BACK, THE CREEP IS BACK!' 

'NO ROSE, IT'S ME!' i scream after her 
'IT'S ME, JACK' 

a door opens 
i freeze
a man holding a shotgun 
walks toward me 
and blasts 

*poem from the collab book i did w casey renee

buy the book at this link: 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/635033854/its-getting-harder-and-harder-to-tell

>>>if you want to read more poems by me visit my website: https://johnnyscarlotti.blogspot.com/ 

connect w/ me on twitter @johnnyscarlotti