~ VENEMOUS VISITOR ~
It slithered into my fractured thoughts
Silently, slowly, polluting my environ
It strangled all affection in me
Left me poisoned and confused
My hands, shaking
As venom coursed its way
Into and through my mind's intent
Tearing my faith apart
And clutching at the rhythms of my heart
Leaving me alone and icy
While, all the time
I found myself unable
To send or swat it away
For it was truly, my very first
Real friend,
It created a funeral pyre
From my previous life
Slowing down time
And leaving me with nothing
But time,
Time to ponder,
To unveil the false faรงade
Presented to me as religious fervor....
This venomous visitor
Had brought me friendships fruit
The proof that living fast
While taking action unthinkingly
Allows for no time to see the fact
That real truth lay inside us All
Sharing our Love of it
Freely ~ Openly
As time slows and evil grows
There comes an inevitable revealing
A true Godliness
From within,
Even when,
It approaches us
As,
A venomous,
Visitor...
Tony Taylor
* first edit
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Comments
Amazing imagery!ย
Favorite line:ย
While in the beginning, it seems like you were talking about a venemous snake, I felt it was a metaphor for something much deeper in meaning, like trying to avoid temptation or another type of internal conflict.ย
In the last stanza I could still see the venemous snake, or the temptation that can be thought of as a poisonous snake.ย
Great job Tony.ย
I would like more information about the inspiration behind the piece.ย
ย
Wow KATINA!!...what an amazing comment.....I wish I could receive this kind of probing comment on each of my poems because they all have some kind of 'root motivation' that most never question me about......you were definitely on the right track with your deduction...... In this instance, the motivation behind the words is 'self-doubt'ย ~ the kind that comes from without ...NOT from within........ it is the self-talk from within that comes to the rescue here.....That 'God-Light' (if you will) that rises to the occasion at precisely the right moment, restoring confidence to the person in this scenario.....Liken it to the baseball player who, on his final swing, hits the homerun!!โฆ.Because everyone had told him over and over that he couldn't do it, that he would choke, he had been doubting himself and found that his 'inner strength' was there for him in the end!!โฆ..'Self Doubt' is one of the MIND KILLERS!!......I hope that answers your question dear poet sister!!โฆ...ALWAYS a pleasure to hear from you!!โฆ...stay groovy girlfriend!!โฆ..Lots Of Love to you and yours!!โฆ..T xoย : )
Only when we enter the deepest dark do we understand the light...amazing work ?
Amen to that MARION!!โฆ..inner turmoil/conflict can take us into that darkness!!โฆ.Only having experienced it and/or delved into it...โฆ. do we have any idea what the light truly has to offer us!.....thanx for this dear poet sister!!โฆ.Lots of Love!!โฆ...T xoย : )
Well written angel
Thank you LINDA!!โฆ..always nice to hear from you my friend!!โฆ..hugs n smiles!!โฆโฆ.T xoย : )
amazing write Tony..total pin-worthy verse!
Thank you DARKLY!!โฆ.you rock girlfriend!!โฆ..appreciate the PIN!!โฆ.smiles....T xoย : )
Love the imagery brother.ย I wish I could write as you.ย Lol your such an amazing talent
Thank You GREG!!โฆ..while appreciate the kind generosity of your words very much....I daresay there are some gifted writers on Cosmo and you are one of them my friend!!โฆ...thanx again.....stay safe bro!!โฆ...peace....T xo : )
Mmm yes, I had to pin this wonderful,ย insular piece, a dark internal monologue I thought, that changes your perception as it moves along...like a serpent.ย
Bravo!
John
Yay!!...Thank you Mr ASTLEY!!...a VERY astute presentation of your impressions!!โฆ..Could not ask for anything more.....lovely......Thanx again.....ALWAYS a pleasure to hear from you my friend!!โฆ..Peace....T xoย : )
Masterful! Tony this so dark and intriguing. The struggles of Life, fantastic write
Why thank you Sir BROMLEY!!โฆ..I do so look forward to your impressions......I appreciate it brother!!โฆ..stay groovy!!โฆ...T xoย : )
Nice rigt tony
Thank you EDDIE!!...always nice to hear from you.....hope you are keeping well dear poet brother!!โฆโฆ.Peace.....T xoย : )
I started reading this as pertaining to a snake... But by line 3 it is clear that it's not... this is about something much darker and even more insidious. Something which robs us of ourselves.ย When there's a story of good v's evil it is always the good that wins... And so it is here... There is a light at the end of the darkness. A fabulous write, Tony. It's deep and dark... But not too dark that we cannot be shown the light x
My Dear Tony,
This powerful write grabbed hold of me, more with every line.ย Were you using the beginning of it to represent Eve?ย Whether your answer is yes or no, it's beauty still got me all choked up in my "Adam's Apple".
The venom from the assuaging asp
Brought comfort to my Soul
But the more to it I listened
The more I lost control
.
One night while it was sleeping
I freed myself from its grasp
At last I was myself again
Rid of the venomous asp
Love you, Bro,
Larry xxx
ย
" VENOM ".....WHAT, a movie ? You have seen it ?ย :) :)