Walking Backwards

Sometimes I find myself walking backwards 
Not so much to return to the past but
As more of a retracing of my steps 
See where I went wrong, because... 
Sometimes I find myself lost to the ways 
Of the world, a stranger to love 
And even stranger, a stranger to life
 
We only ever tolerate each other 
As if to say "hey sometimes I find myself not liking you much, 
Not so much because you're difficult
But more so because you do that thing in the morning
Where you grimace at the mirror for five minutes straight
And proceed to tough love me to death" 

I actually swim in a pool of venomous thought 
Can you even imagine the horrors it's brought 
To the point where...
Sometimes I find myself walking backwards 

Not so much to loose myself 
But more so to loose my demons...