Was I a dancer all along...?

I think its in the way they feel the music
They dance with their souls
Contained within every step is a little bit of magic
A little girl stands in awe, watching, hoping to someday
Grow up to be able to capture the wonder of movement
To be able to inspire others simply by showing them
By creating psychologies that come alive, writing out pieces of the psyche
With one swift movement of the arm
Rescuing the lifeless, damned souls of those who know nothing better
Who know only what it means to think logically,
To take life at every word it utters,
Not to draw outside the lines, to experience the very thing that makes us ALIVE

To dance, are we humans or are we dancers?
We dance through life each day
Carefully caressing each second as it passes
Waving goodbye to bad thoughts as they drift on by.
Dangerously succumbing to a life of pattern and monotony…
But little do they know that there is something else out there
Something worth giving it all up for, oh and if only I had
I was a dancer all along. Dance, dance, dance.

My love, it is not in the music neither is it in the dancing itself,
It is in the mind, the curious art of connecting to a higher spirit plane, 
The art of drifting aimlessly and miraculously through time and space
Dancing with your thoughts and the shadows they converge to within the deepest darkest corners of the mind. What is it?
What does it mean, you ask? Why is it so?
How should it be that from the simplest act of moving with intense thought and precision we are able to connect with…God…? Is it that? 
Have we created this fantasy for ourselves where dancing is all of the mind? No!
It is of the body simultaneously, because I feel it. I feel it when I cry, when I laugh

I feel it right down to the edges of my fingers and toes, 
I feel my body dancing to the rhythm of life
My sighs form endless strings of notes that flutter harmoniously 
Around the midnight breeze as I sleep,
Dreaming of the things I could have done, of where I would be,
Had I pursued it further, this wondrous gift I was given,
Not ‘to be’ a great dancer, but to feel great dancing, I have the gift of connection,
I can connect to something bigger than myself or another human.

I was given a gift. You can experience it to!
As it unfolds it will entice you, pull you further and further in if you let it,
As if you could help it!
It’s grip so deep that after a single lesson, one afternoon spent with it,
With him, I feel his enticing eyes seep into my soul and draw me further and further away from the reality I knew into a world of my own creation. 
It will eat you up if you let it, it will devour you as much as you devour it.
I want that connection, I long for it when I don’t dance.
But every time I do I end up in an awful shame.
I become confused, wondering if the path I am on is worthy. Should I be dancing instead? What have I been doing pursuing academia? Surely this is where the magic is?

And that is the reason I dance so scarcely, the guilt. I am sorry, I have not devoted enough time to you. But every time I do I get carried away, I want to be a dancer again. And the wolves! They fight! One is creative and doesn’t care about pay the other shouts out that I should think of my future family, how will I pay for anything on a dancers wage? So the struggle continues, to this day…