"Wasted Youth"

I pick up a pen, instead of a pipe or some tin foil,
Get shit off my chest, to battle the turmoil.
There's so much more to life, than staying fucked up and clouded,
New thoughts in my mind, like my brain circuits rerouted.
Looking over my shoulder, hustling to get by,
The outcome's not worth, the stakes I paid to get high.
The smoke swirling in a light bulb, the bong water gurgles,
Just more self-made obstacles, in my life filled with hurtles.
Years of my life wasted, money flushed down the drain,
The cost of living high, a life wasted in vain.
Handfuls of pills, washed down with a 12 pack,
So much lost, so much I'll never get back.
As I pick up this pen, and put it to paper,
I'm focused on now, the future comes later.
The only thing high now, is my head how it's held,
I contemplate my fuck ups, and inspiration is compelled.
Life in the fast lane, I think I'll take a taxi,
I've found what I've searched for, and it's not in a baggie.
Did I go soft? No I finally got smart,
Eighteen years of wasted youth, caught up and tore me apart.
I got so much to live for, so I'll come out and stand tall,
I'll still choose death before dishonor, and put family before all.