We all have a him

He broke your heart when it wasn't his to break, he lead you on just enough to give you the feeling that you could maybe be his, he's always on your mind but you never cross his, yet you still give him whatever he wants, not because you are easy but because you want him to want you back. By doing this and wanting this you are just falling right back in his trap can you ever even get out? Is it even possible to get out of a trap that attracted you but wasn't meant for you in the first place? Looking back on it you and her aren't even that different, you like the same stuff, when through the same rumors except she is prettier, skinnier, dumber, blonder, easy but not as desperate, liked and wanted by guys, and more popular. So is it even a question that he wanted her instead of you, she's perfect. If he wanted you he would've kept you when he had you but no he tossed you to the side once he realized as long as he could keep you interested enough so you couldn't forget him he could do whatever he wanted to you. But then again he was your first, interpret that as you may, but he still was and the point is that it's not about who he was it was about how he treated you then took advantage of you knowing fully that because of what he was to you, you couldn't/ wouldn't say no to him no matter what he asked.  Even though you are reading this heart broken it's no ones fault but his that you are going through this but his no matter what anyone says. He knows that the more he breaks you the faster you will come back and the more hurt you will be coming back faster and more obedient then before when he wants to use you again, the messed up cycle of love.