Wet misery

I woke up with a wet pillow today
Did it rain in my dreams or did i cry myself to sleep again 
Is life magical enough to wash away my sleeping sins or is my mind preparing for a repeat of the same day over and over again 
Does misery hold my hand when my eyes are closed to assure I never escape its ever lasting hold 
Will I ever dream a dream or fall to sleep to wake to a dry pillow and sheets 
Will I ever remember what it’s like to see through clear after washed out crying eyes 
Will I ever decide what or who I’m trying to find  is it me and I’m just so lost inside . 
I sleep to forget but the memories all return when I wake with a face all crusty and wet . 
My sorrows obviously do not  drown but my pain swims so I can see and feel always sensing it’s around. 
Today I care for tomorrow so tomorrow I won’t have to cry for yesterday