What are the drs trying to do to me, driving me round the bend and up a tree

What are the Drs trying to do to me,
Driving me round the bend and up a tree!

What are the Drs trying to do to me,
Driving me round the bend and up a tree!
For the last 3 weeks I’ve had suspected T.B,
Now I’m clear of that,
Which in itself,
Was a massive shock to thee.
To now be told,
The Drs have had another meeting,
Now their concern,
Is do I have even worse,
They’re now testing,
Somehow,
for H.I.V!
Until I’ve had blood tests,
To find out for sure,
Leaving me in this limbo feeling,
Again once more.
There’s  always something around the corner unseen,
I can’t describe this feeling of foreboding,
Like a nightmare,
But not a dream.
A monster in the closet,
Do I leave it be?
Or continue my struggle,
Taking strength from my weakness,
And rise from the rubble...
That’s my lifes moto and key.
My kids, 
 are another of the worlds greatest creations.
Since having them,
All 3,
They’ve helped me learn to smile,
To simply be me and in my life be happy.
Now with a new partner too,
Keeping us all smiling,
Even on days like these,
When i feel so useless and crappy.
Once again I have to step back,
Take stock.
Until I’ve got my results ,
Forget about it,
Not wanting my family,
becoming unnecessarily unhappy!
I keep asking myself,
How can it be?
I’m nearly 35,
But ancient.
not just mentally,
But physically!

So I ask once more,
What,
If they are wrong and it’s not what they think,
Next for my nerves,
Do they have in store?
What horrible illness or disease,
Will next be banging on my bodies front door,
I’m sure the next will be made up,
I do implore.
Not waiting for the results,
They need a common sense restore.
Either that,
Or retraining again.
Part of that being,
How not to scramble,
 a patients brains nerve endings,
 and its main artery vein.
As just waiting for the news,
The results,
Drives you near insane.
A kind of insanity,
Making you want to jump,
 in front of a speeding train.
It’s the constant waiting see,
That makes you feel less sane.
All from the thoughts,
The Drs implanted,
Deep within your brain.
All this waiting just doesn’t seem fair,
Why can’t I be tested for everything,
Once I’m in there?
Instead of repeat trips and causing,
Not just me,
But my kids,
Partner and family,
Complete despair.
Surely I’ll get to some point,
Where,
Unfortunately,
I’ll be beyond just needing a repair.
You’ll know,
As my spirit will be gone,
But my body will still be there.
That’s when you know,
I’ve had a final,
Truthful,
 Go compare.
You always know,
If the Dr dodges your disbelieving stare,
How they twaddle their thumbs and seem uncomfortable in their chair.
Why wouldn’t they be,
When delivering news of the end of their care.
Thankfully,
At the moment,
They are just stabs in the dark,
With no clarity in them,
So that’s a start.
I’ll always defy the odds,
I’ve that kind of heart!
So take your T.B,
And take your H.I.V,
And shove them some place,
where the sun doesn’t see!
Please all you Drs,
Stop scaring the crap out of me!