What I hate most...

I hate that I can't watch you grow,play,laugh and run.
I hate that you had to leave before you could even turn one.
I hate that there's no cause of death thoughts of what may have been always cloud my mind.
I hate that your big sister cry's for you almost every night.
I hate that you were the chosen one who had to leave and go away.
I hate that I can't kiss or hug you or make everything be okay.
I hate creating new memories without you it's really hard I have to say simply knowing in my heart you should be here is something I just can't change.
I hate that I can't change what's been done there's no such thing as a rewind button and no re-runs.
One thing I am grateful for though amongst all the hate is the fact I had the chance to call you my son before you left this world to enter those pearly white gates.

Rest in peace my angel                Joshua
19.07.18 - 01.05.19