What I want

I know it's impossible
I laugh at myself, it's comical
I want to be a queen
But I'm pretty sure others would think it obscene

I want to be seen
Poetry is my way of putting a screen
In front of my chest 
For other wise, I could not confess

I want to scream
But my voice reduces the idea to a dream
"I'm over here!" I would say
Too bad someone blocked my airway

I want to be smart
Instead, I fall apart
I want to create a work of art
I wish I didn't take words to heart

I wish I could openly discuss
I just feel like my words are superfluous
No one would care what I think
So I rethink, as my heart sinks, I know my words pass through in just a blink

I've tested this theory
After becoming weary of my words
I said them out loud, just wishing
However everyone heard, but no one listened