What to do?

So down, just looking
looks like a frown.
Life's a joke. Get rich, snort coke,
die in a ditch, get back to broke. Can't choke, can't smoke myself,
not even a single pill
left on the medicine shelf.
Why am I here, how do I disappear?
Almost killed a guy, few inches near. Just a knife or a gun
and I would've thrown everything,
gave a one eighty degree spun.
But I'm strong. My Mind isn't feeble,
unlike many other people.
I'm blind from the truth you say.
Your not rich. So goodbye,
have a nice day.
It's a long cold lonely road
that leads nowhere,
only way to walk it, hope.
You can't prepare.
No home, no moment to rest.
Day in day out you need
to put yourself to the test.
One day you'll reach the crest,
teach others the path
to crescent and ascend.