When I was younger

When I was younger
I had a mother and a father
To him I was never a bother
I never had to hunger
For his attention
Or beg for him to smile
Just once in awhile
I wish they would make an invention
To turn back time
To bring back what was mine
To stop life from happening to me
Or at least to make him see
The hurt he would cause
By not taking a pause
For himself
To save himself
To stop the ticking time bomb
That was his heart
To keep life sweet as honeycomb
We would never part
I wouldn’t have to beg my mom to get out of bed some days
From the pain in her heart she has felt since his death
I wouldn’t have to beg my brother not to say the nasty things he says
I wouldn’t be concerned for my family’s mental health
I wouldn’t have had to see a therapist
For the shadow  I saw on the floor
If it was not for the bomb in his chest
I would not have awoken and opened the door
We wouldn’t feel so estranged
I wouldn’t have to hunger
Anymore for change
It would be the same as it was when I was younger