Who am i

 Who am I? What have i become i have changed so much and yet i still feel the same broken and defeated no pride no strength i cant seem to recognize the person in the mirror .walking with eyes fixed at the floor the inspiration long gone i have experienced pain before but never had my soul taken out the will to live is barely there this letter i write seems more like a final piece. A blade keeps calling my name i hear it in my sleep i wake up to a dark room surrounded flooded by memories with the what ifs and what could have been it seems like im losing control never would of i guessed that the person i thought was my all would take everything from me leaving me as an empty vessel i lay on the ground trying to cry looking at the heavens asking god did i really deserve all this ? Perhaps in this lifetime i will roam alone carrying a heavy heart and dangerous thoughts who am i? A person that just does letters trying bleed out all the pain hiding tears in the rain who am i? .... A broken soul screaming for help and yet no words come out tormented by the near past my letters seem  more and more in lunacy .the blade keeps me awake at night talking to me telling me how my pain will stop if she kisses my wrist a shadow of the former self creeps into view what am i? A simple dreamer a person who cant be loved betrayed by all forsaken by one laying on the floor seeing all i done asking why. Why why who am i please help me to a silent god i pray ....