Why?

How is it in life we meet people that u think are near on perfect and make you smile everyday,
For them to come along and crush all your hopes and dreams. I'm not perfect, nobody is.
I have my faults just as much as every person on the planet. Some are just worse than others. But in a relationship you work on each others faults and don't just throw that special thing you have between you and throw it all away at the first hurdle......
Why does life hurt so much? Not physical pain as I can deal with that ten fold as always have but the mental pain we go through when you lose someone, that special someone that you think in that moment, has changed your life forever for them to just crumble at the first, second or third rock thrown at their wall.
Why does breaking up have to hurt so much.?
For me, as my feelings haven’t changed, It's missing the cuddles, hugs and kisses but 2 most important of all her smell and her tender touch.
But that is all gone now, in the past and best left forgotten as if I dwell on it I can feel that my heart would begin it's cycle of rotting.
I wouldn’t be me any more so all I have to do is pick myself up and carry on for my children's sake,
at least they are still there every morning that i wake.
Their mother has drained me of everything in this near year and a half,
I'm suprised I was able to find someone I could love,
Someone who made me laugh, 
After all the mental abuse their mother caused me in the past,
I'm stronger now,
I draw it from my kids.
If I didn't,
My life would go out of control as it swerves through lifes’ lanes,
As it slides and it and skids.
My kids are my passion and they will always be,
I've  decided to wait for love and let it come and find me.
No more searching and hopefully things will fall  into place,
Who knows that by doing that,
Fate could provide me with another face,
Another soul,
Someone that makes me feel like I'm in a hazy bubble that could last the limits of outer space.
Someone like me, with the same needs and makes my heart melt,
The same wants is all I want.
To find that special someone who has time for me and is closer would help,
That's all irrelevant for now,
As my heart is in pieces, 
Tatters and shards,
I need to pick myself up for my kids,
Even though I know it'll be hard.
It's how we learn in life,
Unfortunately,
Sometimes to lose someone is the only way how,
I've done that now,
 so when will I find,
That one true love to carry my hearts feelings and to keep my desires alive,
I'm single again now,
It's awful that in a year and a half I've thought I've found five, 
Only for each relationship to take a hit and plummet to the floor In a relationship splitting
Nosedive.....
Here's to new beginnings, 
Here's to a new start,
I've got to make the best of it if I want to still have an intact heart!