Why is it?

 my take on life - here goes...
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Why is it that when I open a box of biscuits invariably I'm at the end that says
"Open the other end"
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Why is it that the people I least intend to offend I seem to offend
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Conversely, why is it that the people I intend to offend I manage to do so very well! 
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Why is it that when I can't get up in the morning; and I'm late for work, I cannot tell the truth, and I phone in an excuse 
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Why is it, that when I speed in my motor vehicle i'm surprised when I get caught by the cops, I get angry when I get a fine; not at myself but at the cops, I blame them for my stupidity! 
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Why is it that when I forget to pay an account, and there is a late fee, I get angry at the company instead of myself? 
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Why is it, I get relief, from the grossest things like pooping it out, scratching my mosquito bites, the rest I cannot declare!
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Why is it that I leave things to the last minute; I then blame time, or somebody or something! 
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Why is it, that my sanctuary has become the toilet; where I can get some privacy; as opposed to a park! 
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Why is it, i'm always 
 running out of money; when I didn't have much to begin with? 
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Why is it, I write poetry, when I've never been interested in literature; i'm more interested in architecture
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Why is it, I contemplate if there are more stars than grains of sand; surely there is something more interesting to do? 
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Why is it, when I asked the same question twice I don't remember the first question? 
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Why is it I prefer relaxation than working 
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Why is it I always get the end bit of the toilet roll; and that changing the toilet roll could become my second vocation as I do it so often, is nobody else ending up with this bit? 
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Why is it that I prefer snackfood to fruit? 
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Why is it I wish I could sing or paint as opposed to writing a poem? 
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Why is it?