why you?

Why do I want to be friends with you people?   I ask myself that every day.  Do I really have to be the bird in the fairytale following you around?  Whenever you speak I listen waiting patiently for the other's response.  Just sitting there waiting, making up my own opinion but never speaking up or asked to.  I get it we are on different levels, but does that mean that we can't be equal friends at the very least.  I get it, you think you’re better than me in so many ways and every way you manage to point it out and keep it afloat and relevant.  I may be more book smart but at our age and your maturity level that doesn’t really mean anything to you.  So I am just one of your many friends but slightly bigger and you won't let me forget it.  Constantly asking if I should do or eat something.  When really you sit at home fully consumed by your phone and eats nothing, as you are insecure to the point where you starve yourself, which to me is not worth the outcome.  You stand there criticizing me always about my schedule, my eating habits when at least I have both those things and you really don’t.  I just simply don’t understand how each day I spend with you I go to sleep hating myself a bit more to the point where I will either break or stand up to you.  Because all I know for sure is that you are running me into rock bottom.  I am surprised that I am letting you.  You just affect my decisions, and my emotions that much.  What a friend you are letting me sway and drift into the background while you live your teenage life.  For you are so blind and self-involved you can’t see that I am stuck on the same route going round and round, passing the same lakes of tears and the same trees of sadness.  But no its okay I’m fine.  Go live your life I will be here in the background following you around but still silent like a sad and broken bird.