WITHOUT YOU
To my Andrew,
It`s so hard to live without you
My tears flow every day.
Especially when people speak to me
And whisper quietly your name.
No kind words could ever soothe me
The only thing that helps
Is one day I know you`ll be in my arms
And we`ll be so happy again.
Nobody could ever replace you
Your memory will never grow old.
I miss you because I love you
To me you`re more precious than gold.
So sweet was your love for me
It will always stay in my heart.
And it will be that way
As I know that our souls will never part.
Time passes so slowly without you
I miss you every day.
You are my soulmate and my best friend
Please Lord! will this pain ever end?
I know you walk beside me every day
You always made the sun shine bright.
The sky was a lovely blue
And it was a much better world for me
In the 31 years that I had you.
Each time I see your photograph
I know you smile and say
" Mum...please no tears!
I`m only sleeping, we`ll be together again one day! "
I only have a picture now
A frozen piece of time.
To show me how it used to be
When my darling you were mine.
I see the smile in your gentle eyes
Each morning as I wake.
I talk to you and place a loving kiss upon your beautiful face.
With a broken heart I watched you
As in my arms, you quietly faded away.
Although I love you passionately my darling
I could not help you stay.
I don`t need a special day
For you to come into my mind.
As days without thoughts of you
No angel could ever find.
It`s another lonely year without you
That ends just like the ones gone before.
Even though it`s been seven long years now my darling
I still find myself just waiting for you to walk through the door!
I love you
Mum xx
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Comments
Sweet Georgie..this made me cry. They say "time heals all wounds" but it seems not to heal this type of wound. It's almost 16 years since I lost my dad and I feel the same way you feel about Andrew. I wish everyday of my life to see him walk through the door. Like i said to Larry about Nico, I know Andrew is in heaven where he belongs. He is smiling down on you waiting for that day you'd be together.
Lots of love...Rose
Thank you my Rose, sorry it made you cry though. I`m so sorry that you have lost your dad but I`m sure he`s still watching over you, so you`d better be a good girl or else!!
Love G xx
Hello Sis Georgina...
This brought many memories back to me...
You see my oldest brother passed away in 1990...
He was 34...
He would have turned 35 in a couple of months...
My mother grieved so much...
She kept wishing everyday she was dead...
March 31, 2004...
She received her wish...
She wouldn't kill herself, but she wouldn't fight to stay here with the rest of us...
There were still my other brother, me and our children wanting to try and ease her pain...
We weren't enough...
I'm sorry for your pain...
Our thoughts and words will set our destiny...
You will be with Andrew again leaving your family without you...
Beautiful write!
Thank you for sharing...
Hugs...
sparrowsong
Thank you Sparrowsong for that lovely comment. I`m so sorry that you all lost your brother and so young too sweetie and you have my sincere love and prayers too. I can understand your mum giving up like that and I will tell you my story here too.
I was in that same black place for three years after losing my Andrew in 2009 just ten months after his diagnosis. I must admit I came so close at the beginning to ending my life by tablets. That night Andrew came to me in a dream but then told me to wake up as he was really there and he sat on my bed. He put his arms around me and told me how much he loved me and told me off for thinking that way and he saved my life that night. Our conversation was a very long and deep one as he showed me what would happen to the rest of my children and Geoff. My grief was so deep that I was blocking the whole world out and had developed agoraphobia and still find it hard to leave the house unless I absolutely have to, like doctors appointments. But I am slowly getting better. He told me that the whole family will suddenly rally around me because he had started to go to them in their dreams too.
My youngest son Christopher bought a laptop for Mothers day the following Sunday for me, which shocked me because I didn`t know how to use a computer, they terrified me, all technology does. He said don`t worry I`m now going to teach you how to do it. I was actually nervous about it in case I broke it. He told me to write poetry as he had said the one I wrote for Andrews funeral that is on here called REMEMBER and they had all read it. I thought he was just saying that to bolster me. Then he said I`ll prove it to you. He had copied it and sent it to a news paper and they had actually printed it out and it was the news paper for the whole of the north east The Northern Echo and you can find my poems on their sight to this day. I have been writing all my grief out to this day since I joined Cosmo and it was Christopher that found the site and had joined me up for it without telling me. He showed me how to follow their rules, which thank heavens are simple to follow.
The whole world felt different the next day after Andrews visit. I woke up actually looking forward to getting out of bed, he told me to write all the pain down and that`s how I started writing poetry in 2013. I really do believe that he saw that I could write before I knew myself and through poetry and unleashing all that pent up misery I have released the demons that held me captive for those three years.
So you see there is a `light at the end of the tunnel` and from heaven Andrew helped his mum find it. Your comment means a lot to me and I want to help people on here by reading my story to realize that there is comfort. We never get over losing someone, we just have to try hard to learn to live with it, but parents don`t expect to out live their children and that`s the hard part I`m afraid sweetie.
Thank you my darling for your kindness it means a lot to me as that is the sign of a true and honest friend.
With all my love and hugs
G xx
Hi G Beautiful words to your boy Andrew
as a mother i cant even begin to know how
you cope with the pain of his loss
all i can say is your words show the sorrow you
feel and they are heartfelt.One day
you will hold him in your arms again for sure
Take care lovely lady
Big hugs and lots of love Debs xx
Thank you my Debs for that comforting message it means a lot to me sweetie. As you can see on my reply to Sparrowsong, I have told my story there.
Love and hugs back to you too sweetie.
G xx
Oh, My Dear, Dear Georgina,
My tears are flowing freely as I just read the last words of your beautiful heartbreaking letter to Andrew. I feel every ounce of your pain. I know how difficult it is to sit and look at his photograph, to touch it with tear filled eyes, and wonder "why?, why?, why was he taken from me so early"? How can I deal with this never ending pain. A thought, a memory, even a song can set it off. I ride this roller coastered vortex of emotion. I slowly rise up to the top, smiling, almost pain free, only to come flying back down to the nadir of my existence. No words help. My loved ones mean well, but I live on an uncharted island of despair, surrounded by "The Sea of Sadness" that springs eternal from my eyes. "I know you want Mum to be happy, and I try Andrew, but there are some days I must accede to the pain in my heart and soul. I will love you forever my dear Son, and some day we will be reunited in the Blessed Heavens, and never part again."
All My Love to You on This Most Difficult Day,
xox Larry
Thank you my darling, my beautiful Larry,
That was a wonderful and very comforting thing to say and I bless every day, that day that I was so lucky that God sent you both to me and I am forever in your debt and very proud to have you and your love and friendship in my life, I simply couldn`t ask for more my darling. I will always look upon you both as greatly valued and very, very much loved members of my family, my very special and very much treasured big brother and sister. I`ll always love you both deeply and our love for each other brings me so much joy that my heart and soul are overflowing with my love for the both of you. I only wish I had the money to come over there to be with you for a while so that I can physically shower you both with my love and to meet our little Cody. That truly would be a great gift from heaven. I would simply love to cook you both a typical English Sunday lunch, that really would be fun wouldn`t it sweetie? Oh but at least dreams don`t cost anything. I`m on the first rung of the ladder though as I now have a passport for the first time, awful picture! but at least it`s now official that I am real!!!!
I know Andrew will have read your lovely letter and he will be positively beaming with love and pride for you both.
I adore you both very much.
God bless and keep you both safe for me.
Love G xx
Our Dear, Dear G,
The day that we finally meet, and you "shower us with your love", is the day that we will be "bathing in glory"! You can cook us an English lunch, and we'll cook you an American dinner. But until then, we will just have to feast on each others love from afar. You are going to have to prepare a lot of it, for we are voracious.
Love forever,
Linda and Larry
My darling Larry, you say `Your words don`t help` you are wrong my darling because every single word you both say to me help me to want to keep on trying and you both help me to keep on living. You both make me look forward to getting up each day to face the world and I coudn`t live without you both in my life. It truly is an honour for me that you are my best friends and I`ll love and cherish you both forever.
Love G xx
Dear G,
You know we will always be there for you on those days of your depths of depression, and jousting with you on the others that you fill us with your magnificent sense of humor. Just like us, you have been a gift from God to Larry and Me, and oft times your beautiful words have buoyed our saddened hearts. Reading your lovely notes everyday is like feeling the sun rise in the sky, and being permeated by its beautiful warmth.
All our love,
Linda, Larry and Little Cody
I love you too sweetie. You do the same for me in every way possible and I adore you both.
Give big hugs to Cody for me and tell him his auntie G loves him too.
Love you both. G xx
Hi, sorry for your loss, In an ideal world parents wouldn't out live their children, unfortunately we live in a cruel world and that's not the case. such a sad read. but thanks for sharing.
cheers jeff
Thank you for reading this piece Jeff and I`m glad you liked it and thank you for your condolences.
Love G xx