12th August 2016

All i remember upon awakening were the lights, they were  so bright i could hardly open my eyes. And the sounds and strange smells i didn’t recognize  made me too scared to look around, I’m trying not to panic, but the constant beeps and alarms are ringing in my ears making me more fearful by the second.
Then worst pain i have ever felt in my life ripped through my body as i tried to sit up to see, looking down at my stomach it was all bandaged and covered , i could see dry blood and brown paint. I had tubes coming from everywhere, In my arms, my legs, i had a mask and nasal prongs, more drips and pumps then some critically injured patient that had been in a car wreck.
It was then that i realized i was in recovery and I remembered everything .... the ambulance, the pain, the surgeons, the fear of dying and never seeing my husband or kids again. Never getting to say how much I loved them and what they meant to me.
And then came the tears, they are streaming down my face, I'm trying desperately not to get hysterical and the sobbing was making it hard to breathe, It just created more pain. But it was uncontrollable, I couldn’t stop it, i was scared, What did they do to me ? Did i have a bag ? Did i lose all my stomach?

“ Where is Rob? I want to see my Rob, Where is he?”.
By this stage i was screaming out at anyone who would listen. The blank look on their faces said it all, they had no idea who i was talking about.
“ Please !! “  i cried to the nurse next to me.
“ I just want to see my husband “
He was polite, I think his name was John, he was young and very empathetic, told me to calm down and try to relax and that Rob was waiting outside. And that he had already been into see me but i decided to crash on everyone and be all dramatic so he was sent back out to the waiting area.

I don't know what happened next but i do remember waking up to my Rob standing next to me holding my hand, that was the best moment of my life ... and then i threw up everywhere, I was so embarrassed and so sorry but he didn’t care, He just cleaned me up, kissed my head and said he loved me.

So after a night in the ICU because apparently i kept crashing after surgery, I was sent to the high dependency ward for healing and learning how to live with my new accessory .. I named him Porky !!!

On the 12th August 2016, I was rushed into emergency surgery to save what was left of my bowel and my life. I have had untreated and undiagnosed Crohns disease for 8 years. Slowly it has eaten away at my intestines, leaving me with a blocked bowel, an abscess the size of a dinner plate on the inside on my abdomen. My intestines had joined together and blocked my intestines, eventually the pressure pushed its way out and my own poo was  seeping into my stomach slowly causing me vomit my own waste. Creating ulcers that just got deeper and bigger. The pain eventually became unbearable and i called for an ambulance.
To save my life they had to remove 70% of my intestine and gave me a stoma, so what was left could heal so one day i can be normal and go to the toilet again.
Porky is my stoma, he is a shit to say the least, caused me drama from the day he was born, but without him and the continuous support and love from my family i wouldn’t be here today. And this makes me the luckiest woman in the world. !!!

My name is Jo and this Is my story.
I have Crohns disease, there is no cure, only treatment if your not too far advanced, unfortunately I am so it’s a battle , but not one I’m willing to give up on anytime soon.

By Blueeyez