539

5:39.

5:39 pm.

I'm speeding. Speeding in the car. The ambulance. Ten car pile up on the freeway. Not much in the way of information. 

I can feel the tension in the air. Thick as fog. Likely to be fog as hot tears hitting the cold pavement. The back is silent. The sirens have dissolved into the background, the pounding in my head, or is it my heart, seeming to fill the air. 

I look back. The lights are bright and the faces solemn. I hope we'll make it in time. I want to save someone. I hope I won't need to. 

I'm following the gps as best I can. I keep zoning in and out, per usual but this time's different. I can't help but feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction. I'm out of place; don't belong. Heading away from the crash. 

But no. I must go towards it. I must help. Something's missing in me. I need to find it. 

The back cabin has dulled. The light is more of an egg shell; and tinged white, a dirty white, almost taupe. The medics no longer have tangible faces. 

I'm losing sight. Losing the site. Dammit where am I where am I going. 

The crash. The crash; it must be near. It's ringing in my ears. I can smell the blood in the air; thick as smoke. Taste it in my mouth. 

Metallic. Like a bad dream. A nightmare. 

Slowly the sound of the siren starts to melt, growing lower and further away. My ears are ringing. I can't see anything anymore. Past the ringing I can hear screaming; although faint, like deja vu. 

The ambulance halts abruptly and I go numb. Have I made it? I just want to help. I'm sorry. So sorry. 
 

The police scanner crackled to life. "Code 3, all units respond." 

The paramedic picked up. "Priority 1, over, Priority 1. Just picked up and almost to the hospital.  

"Red, she keeps mumbling something. Something about saving them." 

'I'm so, so sorry.' 

The paramedic patted her head. "No need dear. It's all all right now. It's all right."

"It must've been her car." called the one in the front as a piercing beep sounded.

The ambulance pulled up to the hospital and she was rushed in through the front door. The gurney was swarmed by doctors and nurses alike. 

"She's lost too much blood!"

"Stand by on the defibrillator!" 

"Doctor!"

"She's gone."

"Calling it." the doctor said as he tentatively rolled up his sleeve. "5:40 pm."